Madhouse

I am in a madhouse

F e e t    o n    a    t  i g h t r o p e....................................

Left foot first

Right foot next

Step by step

My balance a test

Above me heaven

A circus below

People with painted faces

Eyes of madness

Sickly smiling

At nothing

Or

Anything

Or everything

Everything is not what it seems

 They are laughing and jeering

Fighting and cheering

All are watching me

Coming for me

THEY'RE COMING FOR ME

Walking across the way

I must find the door

And run from the madhouse

But the world

The world is madhouse

There is no escape

So it's back to the tightrope

Make no mistake

At least you're up far away

The key is concentration

Or madness will take its toll

And you will begin to sickly smile

At nothing

With no mind

No heart or care

Just like the clowns below

They are coming for you

Reviews

[Rynn]

Overall, this piece is quite taking. I love what you've done with the formatting. It really adds to the tone and gives the piece such a unique structure. Things are definitely not what they seem - to the bones of this piece.

The words are very well chosen. I enjoy that some of them rhyme and then - they didn't. It adds a sense of chaos that I believe you've achieved. Some word choice suggestions I have -

"Right foot next" - I thought this would be more striking if you had shortened the line to simply, "Right"

"My balance a test" - The lack of punctuation here took gave me a bit of a jostle while reading. If that is the intention, pay my suggestion no mind, but I believe that it would be an easier line to take in if it read, "My balance, A test." Or "My balance is a test."

"Above me heaven
A circus below
People with painted faces
Eyes of madness
Sickly smiling
At nothing
Or
Anything
Or everything" - These lines I really loved. It is what really drives home the circus-like, chaos imagery. I got a clear picture in my head of the madness ensuing. Noting that above you is heaven, but everything below that is a circus. What a neat concept.

"Eyes of madness
Sickly smiling" - In these two lines I would suggest possibly tweaking the wording a little such as, "Eyes full of madness." or "Sickly smiles."

"They are laughing and jeering
Fighting and cheering
All are watching me
Coming for me
THEY'RE COMING FOR ME" - What strong phrases these are in the whole of the piece. The repetition adds a sense of anxiety; urgency. The rhyming stays true to the idea within the piece that there is a cynical sense of irony or humor going around.

The realization at the end that the madhouse as a whole is a symbol for the world and the tight rope is allegory for the way people must balance themselves and their lives around the craziness of the world is such a relatable concept. I myself have felt this way - it's a thin, unstable line we tread just trying to reach some higher purpose - some end goal. Very well done! Thank you for the read

[Kathryn Smith]

Thanks so much for this review! I appreciate the feedback. Makes me a better writer. xo

[zaisham9393]

I loved the way you wrote this!
Thank you for sharing !

[Kathryn Smith]

Thanks for reading! :D

[Lovecraft]

The red font and the strange, slightly broken up structure of the poem do a good job of portraying someone who has lost their mind. Also the setting of a circus and the path with the tightrope add a great touch to this.

Good job! ;)

[Kathryn Smith]

Thanks for stopping by!..and thanks for that wink face too. ;) Are you mad as well? lolol

[Lovecraft]

Yes I am. But isn't everybody a little mad? ;)

[Kathryn Smith]

hmmmmm I think so. lol W I N K.

[HeyJadeXO]

The tension on this is awesome.Creative way with your words, great job!

[Kathryn Smith]

Thank you so much! It freaks me out myself..which kind of makes me laugh since I wrote it. XD

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

This is brilliant, the madhouse that cant be escaped! but if so, where does the tightrope lead? If one side is tide to the madhouse, where does the other side end? Heaven above too high to reach, and the circus waiting for you to fall into where is your only exit? Or do you build a foundation on that rope that can break at any moment? too many questions, such little time

[Kathryn Smith]

Oooo I didn't think of that! I think what I'd say is..since there is no escape and no where to go, you slowly go mad anyways..and then end up like the rest. Jeez..thats dark! Maybe I should change my thoughts. lol

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Im sure you have already gone mad ;) trust me, I know

[MichaelJHyde]

I like the tension, and the concentration. Has an interesting feel to the reading... like it halts and flows... halts and flows.
Good work.

[Kathryn Smith]

Thank you!! :)

[Tepher Church]

I just reviewed another poem pertaining to tightrope that perfectly coincides and couples nicely with my own poem entitled tightrope very nice, I feel you.
#synchronicity

[Kathryn Smith]

:D Thanks so much!!

[Tepher Church]

Welcome }8~)