A Change of Heart

For goodness sake

I wasn't told you'd feel this cold

 Now it's my time to depart

and that's a change of h e a r t  

She felt like death

On the end of her bed

Her cheek to the mattress

Her eyes on the wall

Her heart still in a stinging pain

And how she still felt so small  

She heard the furnace begin to hiss

And she felt the air hit her face

Gentle like a kiss

Isnt it funny? She thought to herself

How someone can give you so much joy

and equally end up giving you twice the amount of pain?

Isnt it strange?

How people can turn their back?

And you did nothing wrong

All you did was be yourself

but It clearly wasn't good enough

Or was it?

What did he think of her now?

Did she ever cross his mind?

What did he do with her letters and poems?

All her smiles and groans?

Did he keep her music, her happiness?

Did he lose himself?

What was he doing now?

What did she do to deserve this all?

She sprawled on her bed

Memories eating her

Trying to dust off the substance of grief

She rolled over to face the door

A change of heart is all you need

What you want 

What you have

It's the very key

But why is the journey so long?

Is a change of heart a heart reborn?

What was the process?

The lifespan?

The promise?

She covered herself up

Goosebumps on her skin

Doubt like pins and needles

She had to let go, she knew

but when?

Why was she looking for her old self again?

That girl was long gone

She hit the ground running

Life is not what it seems

Her change of heart

Fell with the leaves

Raked up in a pile

Burned in a pit

Held in dreams

The scent still lingered

of warmth and autumn and death

She knows of spring and summer

They always come again

but on this night in November

She couldn't help it

and she thought of him 

With drooping eyes

She whispered in the dark

One day Kathryn

You'll love your changing heart

 

Author's Note

Reviews

[Tony Jordan]

A deeply personal explorative piece - the kind which must precede any 'change of heart' for the narrators benefit in the future. What doesnt kill you makes you stronger.
Some great aspects in this.