P o w e r

P O W E R

P        O        W       E       R

I will never understand the power you were holding

O V E R

M E

If you're going to hit me

Hit me

H A R D E R

(Because you'd better knock me out the first time)

And if you're going to do this with the plaster

If you're going to hit me...

Hit me harder than this.

 

                                

It slowly seeps into my mind.

For brief moments each day.

It is a dark, unforgiving, unkind, and damaging place.  

It is failure, misery and betrayal wrapped into one blink.

Every so often a cloud looms over me.

Memories fill my head.

And again, I break.

It has been 6 months now.

And 1 month since the cold hard truth.

He didn't care.

He didn't want me.

He threw me away.

Just like the rest.

My eye pierces with pain.

The ache in my heart is full of shame.

If I could turn back time.

I'd go back to May.

I'd stand up:

Brush off my shoulders.

Be fierce instead of timid.

Look him in the eyes and turn myself into a woman.

I would call him out on what he was doing.

How he did not deserve the title "man".  

I'd epically walk out his little flat.

With class.

All I want is to be rid of the memories.

To be free.

More than anything I want them to go away.

For what he did was so damaging..

I've lost healthy self esteem.

My stomach lurches.

My tears tease me.

but I have to remember

One important thing

I have to remember

That I am the one

Who now has all the power.

And the power he held over me

Is  gone.

Lost.

Vanished.

Banished.

Screaming in the sea.

I am gone

And he?

He is powerless.

Author's Note