Waking Up

All this time I was finding myself and I didn’t know I was lost

 

The first time I ever heard the song “Wake Me Up” by Avicii was 3 years ago in a night club in Killarney. I remember the strobe lights flashing and the beat coursing through my veins. I remember pairs of handsome eyes eating me up and watching every move.

That night was magic.

It was the beginning of a lesson, and a lesson that would never be forget.

Little did I know, the song would become a theme. Fast forward 3 years later and I stood in Dublin City; the atmosphere around me buzzing. My whole world was of vivid color and love.  

I was watching a busker perform one of my favorite songs. As I walked away, I stopped frozen in my tracks. 

I stopped because the next song he began to play was a familiar one.

It was one I knew like the back of my hand. Gooseflesh covered my skin as I realized what song it was.

The busker was playing Wake Me Up.

And that was the moment, I started to wake up.

Ever notice how things reoccur?

How certain things keep making a presence in your life?

And then you just simply know.

You know it is important.

For as long as I can remember, Ireland has been a part of life. The music, the culture, the food. Everything.

I couldn’t escape the country if I tried. It is in my own blood. My family came from Wexford.

I recently went to Ireland ready for love. Someone in Killarney had led me on for a very long time. I was over the moon but by the time I got to see him, his life had been shattered and the poor man did not go through with our plans.

Heartbroken, the mere thought of Ireland stung.

All my hopes came crashing down.

Maybe It wasn’t a place of love for me.

It wasn’t home.

I felt so alone.

Wasted.

Mislead.

Embarrassed I had followed my heart.

But over and over people kept telling me this was just a life lesson.

There was no need to pitch Ireland.

After thinking for a while I began to really realise how wrong and lost I was the entire time.

I was so blind, I couldn’t see just how much love I actually had there.

I shrugged off the forms of romance I experienced on my trip.

And as I thought and recalled various moments, my heart began to burst.

On the flight there, I was trying my best to get a view of the sunrise across from me. A man around my age noticed this and pressed himself against his seat so I could get a good look. He gave me a big smile and made sure I could see the entire sunrise over Dublin as we landed.

In Killarney, after 3 years, I was remembered and warmly welcomed back by a candy shop owner.

While walking down the street I caught someone’s eye and we shared a smile together.  

In Dublin, a barman picked me up and held me in his arms.

Near Phoenix park, A guy in a traffic jam happily shared his music with me.

A child took my hand and followed me around a train station.

Someone paid for my bus ticket.

A woman got off of a bus with my friend and I, and she made sure we got off at the correct spot.

A group of men in Killarney waved me over to talk with and enjoyed some banter.

And later on a girl who had written of me in her diary would take me under her wing.

She would help me heal, and we would become pen pals.

 

There was and still is love around each corner.

Music gets me through everything, and still today I have a set of songs I associate with Ireland.

I had to stop listening to them for a while because it hurt.

Yet one day I decided to sit down and really listen and dissect them.

And as I listened, my eyes grew wide.

To my utter amazement, it was as if each song told what was going to happen.

Every song I loved now illustrated out memories of what occurred during my trip.

 

After a long summer of picking myself back up and trying to escape and push Ireland away, I found myself walking around Irish fest in Milwaukee.

As I nervously sat down alone in a crowd, I watched a band enter the stage.

A man with a drum immediately caught my eye.

He had ocean blue eyes and hair slicked back.

His eyes met mine, and for the first time in a long time my stomach was engulfed with butterflies.

Something just clicked.

I discovered he came from where my bloodline came from.

Wexford.

Words echoed in my mind as I watched this band.  

"You learned a life lesson. Its not over."

I kept wondering..

What did I learn?

Today I came to the conclusion.

I learned that sometimes we end up in places for reasons we don’t understand.

We just have to keep trekking on.

The good things we wanted to happen to us might not happen...but perhaps in the end, we ourselves were the good thing that someone else needed.

From now on, I will proudly carry Ireland like a badge of pride.

Scars and all.

I owe the country quite a bit.

Ireland woke me up.

It taught me what true love is.

And I am thrilled to say I found the love I was looking for.

The kind of love that will never perish.

I have it all.

Through friendships, through fleeting moments, through memories. Through people all over the country.

Thank you Ireland.

I found myself in you.

And I am finally awake.

You will forever be apart of me.

Thank you for your love.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Lorry]

The sadness of jilted love seems all the more great by the fact that you were in an unknown land. That would be enough to crumble most people, but you finally got your epiphany and discovered a whole country full of possibilities and possible future adventures. I think like most foreign lands, it is only when you return home and get back to the everyday, that you can truly appreciate your time there, and maybe plan for future adventures once more.
Great write, you certainly fit a whole chunk of life into this piece :)