Miles

I've been a teacher and a student of hurt

I've kept my word for whatever that's worth

I've seen trouble more than any man should bear

but I've seen enough joy I've had more than my share

and im still not done I'm only halfway there

and there's still a million miles to come

My birthday is next week!

and I am so ready to close this chapter and begin a new one.

I can't say I'm happy, but I can't say I'm sad.

I can say I'm broken.

Broken hearted and not well.

I decided to follow my wild heart and was slightly let down by someone.

But I can't complain.

He did a lot of good for me!

I'm just so tired of things never working out for me.

I'm tired of being swallowed by insecurities.

Tired of change.

I'm tired of the loneliness.

Tired of ruining things.

I'm tired of disappointing myself.

I'm tired of failing.

I'm tired of the constant feeling of the need to fly away.

But once I fly away I get the ache to return home.

And when I return home, the burn to fly away returns.

What is wrong with me?

Someday my enormous heart will be loved.

Someday I will be appreciated.

Someday.

When I give, I give every ounce of me.

I give it all.

I love fiercely.

I love loyal.

But I've been waiting a very long time.

And all the times I've given my all...I gave my all to people who never wanted it.  

The nice thing is, I've got miles to go.

Burns only make you stronger.

I've taken on death.

I've taken on hospitals.

I've taken on surgeries and trauma.

I've taken on life.

All I wanted was for someone to love me.

Every bit. Every part. Every word that comes out of my mouth.

I'm ready to hear someone say that it's going to be okay.

I'm ready to feel good pain.

I'm ready to be adored.

I'm ready to be revived and renewed.

I'm ready for no more broken promises.

I'm ready to step out of my broken shell.

I'm ready to open a brand new door.

and I'm ready to be 24.

Reviews

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This is beautiful. What is wrong with you? You have feelings and that is a beautiful things. I could feel your emotions in this one. This is a wonderfull this display of chaotic emotions. N.

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Love the pic by the way. It reminds me of the Olympic Peninsula in Washington State. N.

[Richard🖌]

Kathryn,
If there is anything or anyone that's ever made me regret growing old, it is You.
Nothing, nor anyone, has more deeply touched my heart, soul, or mind, or left such an indelible imprint upon and within me, my depths, than you have since i've met and read the effulgent, living, breathing, endearing words of enduring hope, want, and need from the very core of your own being left for us on this site.
I ache for the happiness, goodness, kindness, and love in your heart to find their perfect mate, physically, emotionally, mentally, and to have breath and spirit born into your everlasting dreams that spillover into everyday reality.

Well, M'Dear, quite obviously I love this writing in a very special way; so, not much more to offer; except, "Thank you ever-so warmly and gratefully for sharing You" … hugs 'n happy smiles! ⁓ Richard

[Kathryn Smith]

I'm speechless with your kindness.

Thank you Richard. :) Sorry I've made you regret aging! haha

[Richard🖌]

Yes, indeed, Kathryn … but the universe smiles with my joyous soul while I read your stories and poems.
The picture I love … a wondrously happy 24th! : )