Wild Heart

E v e r y o n e wants a shot

but you're b u l l e t p r o o f

From the moment I was able to be seen on a screen I was underestimated by people.

People who usually know what they are talking about.

I've had odds stacked against me all my life.

And I've always defied them.

Of course defying odds and being strong isn't a cake walk.

I recently went to get my eye checked.

I learned that the cells in my right eye are slowly but surely wasting away.

I am wasting away.

I used to have 76 percent of the cell layer. 

Now have 53.

If I didn't have medication this monster called glaucoma would be turning me blind.

And even with eye drops, I could still end up blind as I grow older.

Knowing my backstory I often have people dumbfounded at my bubbly and positive nature.

But I'm starting to wonder.

Does darkness breed a free spirit?

Do doubt and rejection from others create a wild heart?

 

Where did this free spirit of mine come from?

Where do wild hearts go?

They can never stay in the same place

At least mine can't

I roam the world

And I take on speed

I hop on a train

Fly on a plane

I look for love

Or someone to blame

Somewhere to fit in

Somewhere to call home

 

Broken people have always fled to me

Like moths to a bright light

Am I a walking sun?

A walking sun that keeps feeling the darkness of night? 

My heart took me across the Atlantic recently

So it could meet another wild heart

While I was there, I remember two voices yelling

Outside his window in the early hours

I was startled and drew closer to his chest

And he held me there at his best

Our fingers tied together

He squeezed my hand in sleepiness

In the mess of hatred

For the first time

The darkness was calmed

and my heart sung a song

When a free spirit is calmed

What happens next?

The wild heart panics

"Guard yourself!"

"You can't stay here"

"You'll be let down"

"You have miles to go, a life to live"

"Keep flying! Keep running!"

In a drunken state wild hearts flutter back to the sky

They return home

But it feels as though it is not their own

They yearn to travel again

Alone

If a free spirit falls in love

The wild heart will begin to mourn

For it finally found a niche

But it just cant stay for long

A wild heart is always yearning

Always hoping

Always beating and blowing with the wind

But the love is never dimmed

A wild heart knows a broken heart

If a wild heart hears truth ring

It decides to go against the grain

In sadness by many it follows the way back

Back to the one that they called home

The best thing the free spirit had ever known