If You Knew

What did you do to me?

What did I do to you?

I can't even bring myself to find the words.

I'm sitting here at a loss for words with memories flying around my headspace.

They taunt me.

They mock me.

They tease me.

Will you please leave me?!

I want to write our memories...

But I can't yet.

Every minute of every hour

I miss you

I miss you

I miss you more

Your brother's death killed a part of you.

I lost you.

But it's not your fault.

What I know is this:

We had something good.

Something beautiful.

A real connection.

So many similar interests.

It wouldn't surprise me if we were soul mates.

In fact, I think we are.

Not the kind of soul mates that marry each other

but the kind of two people who are each other.

Two people who were destined to meet in life.

I wanted to love you.

I wanted to love you for over a year.

But you were broken.

And now I am back at home.

And my heart is at war.

Do I let you go?

Would that be better for me?

I tried my best to love you.

And you tried your best to please me.

But we didn't have enough time.

I thank you.

And I will never forget you

What I'd do to go back to that day in October..

and that night in January..

When our story began.