A pessimistic optimist

But it's easier to bury my head in the sand sometimes
And I know It's not the right way to go
But I pray for the ground to swallow me whole

Now the sky is getting dark
Can't you hear the thunder start to roar
So I'll be picking up the pace
Block out things I'd rather just not know

If I'm not ready
Life will just eat me whole
If I'm not steady
Maybe I'll lose control

Are you a pessimist or an optimist?

That is one of the toughest questions for me.

It's one of the toughest because I am a heavy mixture of both.

There is really no in-between.

I can either be the most positive person you will ever meet, or the most negative.

I've decided I am a pessimistic optimist.

My first thoughts when entering an elevator usually go something like this:  

Oh my God...! I could plummet to my death! What if I die in here??!

and then my next thought will be..but maybe it'll be fun! It could be like the tower of terror ride in Disney world!

Next my mind trails off and wonders about what it would be like to be stuck in an elevator and who I'd want to be stuck in an elevator with.

By the time I start to list people the elevator chimes and the doors open. I laugh to myself about how ridiculous my thoughts were.

On the other side, when my positivity kicks in, it seems to annoy people to no end.

In high school there were a few girls who had lots of hatred towards me because I was too nice and too positive all the time.

Recently, I remember going to see a musical with my sister. Our tickets had different rows so she sat behind me.

There was a noisy and obnoxious little girl next to her and so during intermission I let my sister move to sit next to me. Thank goodness there was an empty spot!

As she sat down beside me I turned to her and quietly said: At least you could get away from the chatterbox!

My sister didn't appreciate my optimism there.

I cant win either way.

But I recently had a thought.

Being pessimistic has always been considered to be a bad thing. 

My thought is, what if being a pessimist was actually just being smart?

As a little girl my mother would always tell me to expect school and no possible snow or ice days in the winter.  

That way, if you made yourself believe there would be no cancelations you would be pleasantly surprised in the morning with a cancelation and no school.

I think pessimistic people should be given another chance.

Maybe people should have more open minds and explore the mind of those of us who are sometimes painfully negative.

Perhaps thinking the worst is the best. 

Deep down we know our mad thoughts probably won't be true.

Seriously. Here are some of the most negative and funniest thoughts I've had.

While camping or hiking:

Hey. Remember that story Dad told about the wildcat running around his tent in Montana?...Wait..what's that noise!? It's a wolf. A wolf is going to come and eat me!

While driving: 

That semi truck is going to slip on the ice and hit me. its going to hit me. I'm going to die!

While in school:

What if a gunman comes into our school? Where would I hide? Or should I just run? Would I survive? I probably wouldn't.

(That thought has occurred a lot lately, I don't feel very safe these days.)

While falling asleep:

What if I don't wake up? Man. That would suck...but that's the way I'd like to go!

While shopping:

I wonder what would happen if the escalator started on fire! The saying shop till you drop would have a whole new meaning!

Finding an unusual mark on your skin:

I SAT IN THE SUN FOR TOO LONG! IT'S SKIN CANCER!!!!

It's the end of my life!

Being negative might not be the best trait to have in the world, but it sure can give you a laugh.

So. What are you?

An optimist, a pessimist? Or a pessimistic optimist like me?

 

Author's Note

Reviews

[dan]

I'm pessimistic at all times, unless I'm out among other people then I can do a good positive enthusiast. At least that's what the few friends I have tell me. And that's all I need to hear. It's always nice to read your work and this write is no exception. Very nicely written. take care...dan

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked the story and the question.
"An optimist, a pessimist? Or a pessimistic optimist like me?"
I'm more a doubting Thomas. I fear bad ending and hard ways for all things. At work. In life, I'm a optimist. Thank you my friend for sharing the amazing story.
Coyote

[wordman]

well kathryn,i just can`t make up my mind..you think i`m one of them people lol