5 years

When you know your days are numbered

and you're looking in my eyes

It's not the end

Because the energy never dies

Not everyone can say they've woken up in a pillow case full of dead skin.

Not everyone can say it took 3 weeks for them to be able to open a swollen eye.

Not everyone can say they've had stitches taken out of their eyeball.

Not everyone can say they have glaucoma.

Not everyone has a fake eye lens.

Not everyone has to travel 3 hours to see an eye specialist a few times a year.

But not everyone is as lucky as I am.

This December it will have been 5 years since an airbag damaged my right eye.

I've found that trauma can give you an enormous amount of strength and character.

Humans are funny.

When something terrible happens to us, our first instinct seems to be to scuttle into a dark corner and believe it's the end of our journey.

The end of life as we know it.

Sure some things might have changed,  but from what I've learned and observed over the years is quite a beautiful lesson.

Whether it's  cancer, an injury, or a mental illness, I've found that most people don't let it get the best of them. In fact, instead of crying all the time, we do the opposite.

Even when it's difficult, we put on our brave face, dive in head first and live our lives to the fullest.

We muddle through the worst and hope for the best.

Failure is not an option.

Death could be on the horizon, but isn't that ahead for everyone else too?

We see each day differently than others might.

It's just another day to be happy for what we have.

We take nothing for granted.

We are thankful for the time on our hands.

For every tick we hear on the clock.

For the faces we see and the energy around us.

When I was in the car crash I missed out on so many milestones.

Learning Pointe and advancing in my dance career.

Being the lead in my winter recital.

Getting to be in my first musical i was cast in.

I wasn't able to exercise for months.

I missed school.

I lost a lot of friends.

That might sound depressing to you, but to me, looking back I can't help but realize something.  

If the car crash never happened I don't think I'd be so grateful for what I have today.

If it never happened I wouldn't have met some of the people who are my world that I know today.

I honestly don't think I'd be able to fathom the strength I found.

The healing was a journey, and it still is..

If the car crash never happened I wouldn't have learned what I learned.

Or saw what I saw.

Sometimes in order to rise we must fall.

Sometimes in order to see the light we have to see the dark.

Sometimes to be thankful for what we have, something must be taken away.

I might have lost some vision in my right eye, but I'm thankful I have both eyes.

I'm thankful for being here and alive.

I'm thankful for finally accepting that my life has changed. 

It's been 5 years and tomorrow I will be heading to see the eye doctor.

I'm supposed to have more surgery at some point in the future.

No one knows when.

Not even the doctor.

It could be tomorrow.

It could be in 5 years.

All the more reason to live life to the fullest.

Life's just a blink

So don't think twice

 

Author's Note