Walk On

You know there will be days when you're so tired that you can't take another step

The night will have no stars

 and you'll think you've gone as far as you'll ever get

In the end the only steps that matter are the ones you take all by yourself

I've found I'm most creative in the dead of night.

My mind is all over the place. It runs wild and explores the depths of my headspace.

I wrote a letter to Sufjan Stevens about everything that has happened to me.

and that got me thinking about reality and how harsh my future could turn out.

The car crash damaged my right eye...and in reality I could possibly go blind.

BLIND.

I don't want to go blind!

I want to see.

I want my perfect eye back.

I want a real eye lens.

I want a gorgeous brown eye that looks normal.

I want to look at people without feeling paranoid if they'll see the damage.

I want to go back to the way I was.

I am supposed to have more surgery in the future...but no one, not even my eye doctors know when.

That is terrifying.

It could be tomorrow.

It could be when I turn 43.

I know things could be much worse, but I'm still so scared.

The entire future frightens me.

Why do we have to grow up? I don't want to be an adult. I want to be a wild girl who runs through the forest chasing the summer sun.

Why do bad things happen to good people?

All I can do is soak in the world around me. 

Bathe in what I can see and walk on...

and If I ever end up on a hospital bed about to endure more surgery, or If I really do go blind in one eye, at least I'll still have my music!

I don't think I could live without music.

Right now, I'll be thankful for what I have, and count all the good things.

It's the only way to truly walk on if you hope to be successful in taking a step.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4Kknl8TM-Y

  

Reviews

[Braden Freeman]

I felt moved by your words. I hope you can adjust to your challenging situation. I think we all fear the future sometimes. It helps to have friends who can help you walk the path.

[Coyote Poetry]

It is scary to lose your site. I recommend herb eyebright. I took my glasses off for 15 years because. My dad who had sugar diab took off his glasses too. I like the honest tone in the words. Life is one day at a time. Herbal cure can help. Old logic. Fix the muscles about the weakness. Can help. A powerful write. Made me think.
Coyote

[AaronFreitas]

It is scary to think that you may lose your sight... I understand your worries and just the way you have to adjust life because of it. You detailed that in your writing very well :)

[wordman]

your asking the life long question .why ,I wish I had the answer for you.
hope everything goes well,and I`m sure it will..

[dan]

Kathryn, I hope that this is fiction and you don't really face eye surgery. Having said that, the way you wrote this piece is so refreshingly raw and real, with genuine emotions bubbling throughout...all of the fears and harsh realities spelled out in an urgent plea for ultimate salvation in the outcome. Great writing! take care...dan

[Urja Gokani]

amazingly written keep it up !!