The Whale

A Story by Kathryn Smith

I'm nobody's friend

loneliness rides in my bed

my misfortune

Give everything you've got

While the sun burns hot

I have many wonderful friends, I'll give you that...

but today I realized that I actually don't have many at all.

I have a very small circle of friends. (Which is better than none!)

My closest friend died 3 years ago.

After her death I went in a panic.

I ran on a wild rampage and threw myself at people, desperately trying to find and make new friends.

My plan didn't work out, because I ended up being used, played, and taken advantage of.

To this day, whenever I befriend anyone new, I automatically brace myself to be left on the curb out of the blue, because it has happened so much already.

One specific girl suffered from Bi Polar and used me as a punching bag with her words.

After she ended our friendship, I was a lone wolf for quite some time.

I still am, and I really enjoy being in my own skin.

Today I have about 3 or 4 close friends.

Add the ones I love across the ocean in Europe, and I have a grand total of about 12 or so.

Here in town, my peers and I are all beginning our adult life.

We're working.

Earning money and doing the best we can to live and learn and excel in our new kind of life.

Some of us are getting married.

Some of us are having children.

We're all on different pages and finding good close friends is hard.

I can't decide if I should continue to be a loner with a nice small circle...or should I go fishing again and expand my circle?

Friendships are important.

This song that Sufjan Stevens recently released is based on a true story.

In 1970, a dead sperm whale washed up on the shores of Oregon.

It began to smell and was an enormous problem for the community.

So the highway department decided to try and fix the problem.

They exploded the whale using dynamite.

Let's just say it didn't turn out so well!...

At the end of the day I'm afraid of being that whale.

The person no one wants to be around because of my insecurities and flaws.

I'm either too optimistic, or too much of a goofball.

Too wild, deep, and nice.

For some people, being a ball of sunshine is a bad thing to be. Especially when so many others find it so hard to be happy.

Going on a search for more friends could be an epic fail...

Either way it'll be a story I'll be able to tell.

Elephant in the room

Might as well shoot at the moon

The mild ambition

Give everything you've got

Jump the Fosbury flop with intention

Pursue your invention

As something of worth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38XStNt81kY

© 2015 Kathryn Smith

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Reviews

Coyote Poetry

I try to save a few whales. I was station In Monterey. Their death break your heart.
"At the end of the day I'm afraid of being that whale.
The person no one wants to be around because of my insecurities and flaws. "
I was in the serviced. We had to move the dead from death valley battle. Seem life can lose value we allow. Your story left the reader with something to think about. Thank you for sharing the powerful story.
Coyote

Posted 9 Years Ago

dan

I believe that having a strong and tight circle of "forever" friends is key; those who enter your life and exit quickly are those most likely to offend you due to lack of understanding of you the person. I am bipolar and when I am manic I stay home; my wife is used to my moods and there is no risk of hurting anyone's feelings. I'm surprised to know about the 'Fosbury Flop,' which came on the scene in an Olympic Games WAY before your time. Your writing is consistently good, Kathryn, I always enjoy reviewing your work. Keep it up! take care...dan