Exit Wounds

Lose your clothes and show your scars:

It's who you are

They mark a battle

I have a lot of scars and stitches on my body.

When I was born I had a blood transfusion.

There is a scar on my armpit.

At four, I was being naughty and jumped on the couch. I fell off the couch onto a glass of water. My head split open and the glass shattered to pieces into my head.

That gave me a scar on my forehead.

Later, when I was ten, I had gallstones and had to have my gallbladder removed.

There are 5 little scars all over my stomach.

Finally when I was 18 came the worst.

My friend was driving us home from musical practice. As I was talking to her, she hit a truck. The airbag deployed and got the right side of my face.

It took out my eye lens.

It exploded my pupil.

It tore up my iris.

It gave me glaucoma.

It changed me forever.

I have stitches in my eye.

I would give anything ANYTHING to have a normal right eye again.

Most people say it's not noticeable but if you look closely my eye resembles the eye of a cat.

The saying you don't know what you've got until it is gone is so painfully true.

Today my mother asked if I wanted to accompany her to a dance recital.

This isn't just a dance recital. It would be the dance recital of the dance studio I attended.

My mother understood why I didn't want to go, but I still felt guilty for not going with her. My father protested and asked why I didn't want to watch.

It's the same every year.

Watching dance recitals..(especially when it's from your own studio) Make me a little sad.

I am very happy and excited for all the dancers today.

I hope they know how lucky they are.

My eye injury made me not able to finish ballet.

I could If I wanted to, but losing vision changes you more than what meets the eye.

Losing vision changes your balance.

It affects your ability to turn.

To dance in general.

Most of all when it comes to performing on stage, having a screwed up eye that has trouble reacting to light makes it the hardest.

The stage lights are blinding.

You can't see where to go when the lights go out.

My parents can't seem to understand any of that.

No one can.

Just because I don't want to go watch a dance recital does not make me selfish.

It does not make me weak.

It makes me human.

Every stitch on my body tells a story.

Every scar is a victory.

and every memory is only a reminder that I am still alive.

That's the best part of it all.

In the end, I'm just happy I had the pleasure of learning to dance.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Z-gjCpazNg

Reviews

[dan]

Kathryn, Your litany of injuries in the beginning becomes moot when the eye injury occurs. The matter-of-fact way you tell the story is both compelling and chilling. The fact that your parents don't understand is them just wanting you to feel normalcy, they can't possibly share your perspective. I'm not saying 'forgive them,' but just try to empathize with the pain that THEY are going through WITH YOU. When parents have children, especially if they have a gift, a bright talent, the parents live a little vicariously through you. I'm not daring to suggest that their loss was equal to yours, but it WAS substantial. You are very courageous for having written and shared this. I hope you understand that I would be honored to save this write into my library favorites. Thank you so much for that. And thanks to Nisreenaa for relaying the RR. take care....dan

[Kathryn Smith]

Wow thank you so much! :) My parents do understands aspects of it though...but visually they can't..which is totally understandable. but thank you so so much.

[Tomorrowneverknows]

Kathryn this writing is terribly heartbreaking. Life is very,very unjust but you are a brave and strong girl like your gread grandfather. As you write:

"Every stitch on my body tells a story.

Every scar is a victory.

and every memory is only a reminder that I am still alive."


Stay strong my brave friend!

YFJs