Exit Wounds

Lose your clothes and show your scars:

It's who you are

They mark a battle

I have a lot of scars and stitches on my body.

When I was born I had a blood transfusion.

There is a scar on my armpit.

At four, I was being naughty and jumped on the couch. I fell off the couch onto a glass of water. My head split open and the glass shattered to pieces into my head.

That gave me a scar on my forehead.

Later, when I was ten, I had gallstones and had to have my gallbladder removed.

There are 5 little scars all over my stomach.

Finally when I was 18 came the worst.

My friend was driving us home from musical practice. As I was talking to her, she hit a truck. The airbag deployed and got the right side of my face.

It took out my eye lens.

It exploded my pupil.

It tore up my iris.

It gave me glaucoma.

It changed me forever.

I have stitches in my eye.

I would give anything ANYTHING to have a normal right eye again.

Most people say it's not noticeable but if you look closely my eye resembles the eye of a cat.

The saying you don't know what you've got until it is gone is so painfully true.

Today my mother asked if I wanted to accompany her to a dance recital.

This isn't just a dance recital. It would be the dance recital of the dance studio I attended.

My mother understood why I didn't want to go, but I still felt guilty for not going with her. My father protested and asked why I didn't want to watch.

It's the same every year.

Watching dance recitals..(especially when it's from your own studio) Make me a little sad.

I am very happy and excited for all the dancers today.

I hope they know how lucky they are.

My eye injury made me not able to finish ballet.

I could If I wanted to, but losing vision changes you more than what meets the eye.

Losing vision changes your balance.

It affects your ability to turn.

To dance in general.

Most of all when it comes to performing on stage, having a screwed up eye that has trouble reacting to light makes it the hardest.

The stage lights are blinding.

You can't see where to go when the lights go out.

My parents can't seem to understand any of that.

No one can.

Just because I don't want to go watch a dance recital does not make me selfish.

It does not make me weak.

It makes me human.

Every stitch on my body tells a story.

Every scar is a victory.

and every memory is only a reminder that I am still alive.

That's the best part of it all.

In the end, I'm just happy I had the pleasure of learning to dance.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Z-gjCpazNg

Reviews

[dan]

Kathryn, Your litany of injuries in the beginning becomes moot when the eye injury occurs. The matter-of-fact way you tell the story is both compelling and chilling. The fact that your parents don't understand is them just wanting you to feel normalcy, they can't possibly share your perspective. I'm not saying 'forgive them,' but just try to empathize with the pain that THEY are going through WITH YOU. When parents have children, especially if they have a gift, a bright talent, the parents live a little vicariously through you. I'm not daring to suggest that their loss was equal to yours, but it WAS substantial. You are very courageous for having written and shared this. I hope you understand that I would be honored to save this write into my library favorites. Thank you so much for that. And thanks to Nisreenaa for relaying the RR. take care....dan

[Kathryn Smith]

Wow thank you so much! :) My parents do understands aspects of it though...but visually they can't..which is totally understandable. but thank you so so much.

[Olivia]

This is the first work I've read of yours.
Maybe its the great suffering that you've done that makes you such an amazing writer.
I wanna read more!

[azaleablue]

You have a story to tell and damn do you tell it well! touching! Keep your head up!

[Some Kind of Poet]

Wow! What an excellent way to get everything from your chest and out there in the open to say that you did survive it all. All the heartache, the physical pain, the emotional pain. Life tried to beat you down many times, Kathryn, and you stood up and beat it. You never gave up. That's one of the best achievements in life. You can look down at each scar on your body, each perfect imperfection and say: I won.

Thank you for sharing this with us. It truly is beautiful.

[Aries1984]

Isn't it amazing how something so little that we use without even thinking about it, that once lost, it completely changes us? I wrote a poem called The Hands which is kind of similar to what you write here. If you want to, feel free to check it out. You may need to click a few pages once you get to my writing.

[Stephen]

I really like your writings. They are very optimistic and I just love that. they always motivate me when I read them. You have definitely been through a lot and i admire you for your continued perserverance. I can tell that you are someone that really values life. Thanks for sharing, I really enjoyed.

[Samaira]

This is brilliant. Our scars are not only a sign of victory but also a constant reminder of a wound. I can understand how difficult it must be not being able to do something you really want to do and having to face that every time you watch it. It takes so much of courage. And you have it. I hope you find something or someone who can help you to get past this. So that the next time you watch someone dancing you can enjoy it without the pain.

[Kathryn Smith]

Thank you so much. I appreciate it! :) I can still dance, I just kind of choreograph things by myself.

[Samaira]

Im glad you do.

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

A very touching story. I can understand this is a severe handicap doing what you like to do. I think it's impossible to imagine those feelings if you are not the person yourself. All I can say is I hope you'll find your way to still find happiness in life. Thank you for sharing this personal story. :) Rudi

[sinNsincerity]

Wow! This is such a great write Kathryn.
I love it!

[R Smith]

great praise to you for overcoming so much trauma, i can understand the not wanting to watch the dance, when it was such a large part of your life and its good that you can be happy for times when you did dance, i get a bit of your eye problem, i had operations on both eyes a few years ago and its left me in a situation where i can't take the bright light of a sunny day, if i do step out into it then go back inside its like where did the room go all i see is glare, afraid its dark glasses outside for me and i mean the darker the better, sorry i'm getting in on your act a bit here, your story is sad and so many unfortunate accidents can be hard to take but its these things that make us grow in spirit and give us the strength to move on with life and become the best we can be, excellent writing Kathryn and good to meet you, I was directed here by Nisreenaa my friend, my best wishes to you :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you for sharing words and story for the dance.
"Every stitch on my body tells a story.
Every scar is a victory.
and every memory is only a reminder that I am still alive."
Your story took the reader in and made them understand the value of dance and life. Thank you for sharing amazing story and photos.
Coyote