These Streets

These streets are yours you can keep them

I don't want them

They pull me back and I surrender to the memories I run from

As I looked out my window, everything to me just looked so ugly.

The roads, the buildings, the rush of the highways. Even all the familiar dead trees.

Everything around me was no longer a beautiful, warm and mild spring.

it was typical Wisconsin in March.

No color.

Black, white, and very cold.

I had just been to England and France for a school trip and now I was back home.

I had gotten this feeling when I flew home from Ireland the summer before, too.

The feeling that I'm in the completely wrong place.  

Sometimes I don't quite feel like I fit in.

I'm not a big football fan like I should be. I'll gladly cheer for the Green Bay Packers but frankly I don't really care if they win or lose a game.

I'd much rather watch a good soccer match. (I really get into those and I miss the world cup so much.)

I'm not a girl who enjoys country music, farms, cows, and cow girl boots.

I can't stand polka music. (I live in a huge polish community and there isn't a drop of polish in me.)

 In second grade I remember my Teacher asking us to raise our hand if we were Polish.

Guess what?

I was one of the two kids in that room who didn't raise her hand.

All the little eyes turned to the Hmong girl and I and curiously stared at us as if we were aliens.

I am not that girl who goes out to the many bars in Wisconsin and gets drunk every night. (Although I do love wine and some Guinness here and there) :)

Did you know that if you are in another state competing in a drinking contest, you are banned from it if they find out you hail from Wisconsin?

 

I don't get over excited about hunting season either..

and when people find out I'm not that kind of girl I become that girl the  entire little town wonders about. I almost feel like Belle from Beauty in the Beast.

Don't get me wrong. I love Wisconsin, and I love where I live. I am proud of where I am from..and I especially love the fact that Wisconsin is one of the friendliest states in the country  but...

These streets just aren't mine.

Home is where the heart is, indeed, but I don't plan on living here forever.

All that's left behind is a shadow on my mind

a shadow upon the wall; a silhouette and nothing more

I won't show my face here anymore....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UqcAWWEeHc