Heart Of Armor

A Turkish Love

Tears.

How can you be okay?  Especially after everything that happened.

I knew It would end. Nothing lasts forever.

We fell under a spell.

"Seni Seviyorum"

We are cursed.

He was cheating on his girlfriend with me

I didn't know he had one

Distance is the worst

We slipped away

The lust turned to dust

When you are so far away it's impossible to love

I understand that pain

I'll never forget the night I saw it in his eyes

Maybe he really did love me. I made him so happy..and the joy I brought to him was bliss.

That's all shattered now.

It's dead and gone.

No one is going to say Seni Seviyorum anymore.

No one is going to say: Are you gonna marry with me?

He is going to love her.

 Not me.

I'm just so tired.

Tired of being used.

Tired of people leaving me.

Weary of people having a problem with me. Whether it's my religion, my music, my obsessions.

I am exhausted of not ever being good enough.

I'm tired of broken promises.

I'm tired of being a failure.

Right now I am more than tired of coughing my lungs out and being sick.

What the hell am I doing with my life?

I am SO lost.

What is there left to hold on to?

Is anyone out there?

He became so hot and then so cold

He was suicidal. A beautiful mess. A work of art.

He said he couldn't live without me.  

Sometimes I wonder if I kept him alive

Yet when he was gone I felt a sense of freedom

The chains vanished

From the moment we first met I knew. I knew it would be a wild ride.

The ride was so intoxicating and dangerous. I loved it.

In the beginning he was perfect

Loyal. Loving. Perfect.

I will just hold on to the memories.

Winter! "I've got you a ring."  Learning Turkish. Meeting Mustafa. Singing. Falling asleep. A Sky Full Of Stars. Rude. The poster night. When he got mad at me for loving Dan Smith from Bastille,  The morning I showed him snow, The time my Dad walked in...

There are so many memories I'll carry with me forever.

All you can do is move on Kathryn.

You must continue to face the world.

You'll be okay. After all...your heart is officially armored.

Even though you are tired of being strong...You will be fine.

Everything will be alright.

Seni asla unutmayacağım. You loved me and I loved you.

That's it.

Hakan if you read this...and if you ever miss me.

Just look at the stars.

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

"He was suicidal. A beautiful mess. A work of art.

He said he couldn't live without me.

Sometimes I wonder if I kept him alive"

Thank you for sharing this well written poem or story...Bravo........................