Octopussy

I came upon a funny Octopus when the tide was running low

she sat upon the Ocean flank killing a sweater in the snow.

"How is this possible?" I asked my speech seemed rather slow

for when she stared up at me her cheeky eyes appeared to know.

"It doesn't keep me warm anymore, doesn't have nearly enough arms"

"look" she said, "There are itchy barnacles attached and not nearly 

enough yarn!" 

She glared at me quite angrily, her voice was nearly hissing,

"the buttons are long gone, my dear, as the clams have all gone missing!"

I shivered in the tropical sun as I watched eight suckered hands fly,

in each one she held a trout, beating a ply pelican on the sly.

On the dock 'round beside her lay eight demolished socks; 

all of which were breathing still; but appeared tuckered from the toss.

Then she puckered up her beak at me and made a kissing sound then pointed

at eight "pink icing" lipstick cases all melting on the ground.

It was then I felt so bad for her that I lent her my blue shawl,

then dragged her to the Ocean face and that was quite a craggy haul,

watching her eight flailing tentacles fly as I flung her from a crawl.

She put out quite a show as she went; para sailing like a speck stuck on the sky

using my blue shawl as a parachute as she happily waved good-bye.

I had to laugh and wave right back though I still don't know just why

I told her to write often as I watched that Octopussy fly!

She yelled across the horizon that she would do it soon, and in the mail next

day came eight letters in post by noon.

She said that she was happier now,  that my shawl had kept her warm, 

into eight soggy envelopes placed my shawl was tattered torn and on the

face of each blue piece of lace, eight puckered kisses had been worn.

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[Eve]

This is suppose to be funny, hopefully this is funny.