Saturday Night's Attack

Staggering to find a chair
Chest hurts so much
I can't see a thing
The pain is way to much to handle
I start hyperventilating
He finds me suffering
Takes me outside, the pain gets worse
I feel like crying
I can't breathe
My chest is so tight
My legs are numb
My ears...no explanation
Leaning on one of the beams
Head rolled back, can't stand straight
They're holding on to me
I hear other voices advising them what to do in this situation
"No, I don't have asthma."
I had at least 2 1/2 drinks
Water is too cold
He made me drink plain black coffee
Such a bitter taste on my tongue
Forcing myself to drink it
Too hot, burns my tongue
Can't drink it....ugh back to water
Slowly calming down
My eyes clearing up
I think those drinks really got the better of me
But I'm okay, just sore throat and back pain
I'm thankful to the ones who were there with me
Rochelle, Gordon, Kukki, Drew
And the others who showed their concern.
<3<3

Reviews

[-Scribe in Style-]

Very nice.
I have to say I liked the beginning and the poem progressed into a climax and the ending didn't do it for me. None the less it is a beautiful dedication.
The first 2/3rds is really intense. I could be a part of the characters experience whilst reading. I think the ending breaks the flow a little.
A good piece of work