Parting Really WAS Sweet Sorrow Today

Today when my boyfriend had to go home it was the hardest moment I've had...and I know there are more to come.

"I have to go now" he says. I hate those words, the immense pain it brings, the need for him to stay. He kisses me; so much desire, the want to stay, the need to be by my side even for moments longer...he squeezes me...I know what that means; its tearing him apart to leave but he has to. Holding on to him for dear life. "I don't want you to go" I whimper. I really do understand that he can't stay, but I know he's drawing out each tender moment out so much longer to keep himself glued to my chest. He takes my hand and I caress his face. Eyes closed I sit there just watching him guide my hand across his cheek. My lip quivers...I can feel my eyes welling up...I wanna cry but I won't. I pack his bag slowly while he puts his shoes on...pulls me by the finger to walk him out to the gate. Stumbles with the grill "In or out?" "Push" I chuckle quietly.

He pulls me closer, caresses my face kisses me once more...I feel my hand gripping his shirt as if you say; no scream "I want you to stay!!" But alas he really needs to go...as much as both of us don't want to be separated; we have no choice. "Who loves you?" he asks. "You do" I always reply. And never forget that.

He kisses me a final time...lingering... as if it was our last day on earth...that final kiss... I can still feel his lips pressed into mine. He doesn't want to let go of my hand. Neither do I. "Parting is such sweet sorrow" he whispers. "So I say good night til it be morrow" I reply with a smile. Yes I know it too...that's like the oldest line in the play. He's walking away slowly...eyes resting on me still. He finally lets go. I feel that sharp pain in my chest as I watch him walk away. Turns around to take another look, still walking away. He takes a final glance and begins his journey home. I remember him saying "you'll see me again soon" I stand in that same spot and watch him walk until I can't see him anymore, until he goes around the corner. Then my tears fall and fall hard. Gods I miss him so bad. "I'll call you when I get there" but he hasn't called me. The pain...the indescribably painful tears I'm crying. So lonely now. Wanting to hear his voice, can't think straight. Needing him here and now.

Parting was such sweet sorrow this afternoon indeed.