Under the Influence

If I can acknowledge that I'm really fucked up then that's a good thing right? Wrong....I was WAY too fucked up for my own good. I'm barely remembering what happened the night before...but I know I was looked after by my friends. If only one certain person would have stayed with me...I'm more hurt because of that but I haven't heard from him since. But I wanted to be with him...to be held in his arms once more, to unload my heart's many burdens and feelings of utter despair. I swear I wasn't up to no good. He...my secret crush took me in his arms...held me...kept me from falling, kissing me gently... I wanted to feel him inside me but he was too kind not to take that opportunity while I'm like this.

Never again...never again will I get that messed up...not for everyone to try n make fun of me. Sigh I wish things were different. I know I don't regret anything about what happened to me. I know no one took advantage of me. I know all I did was make out with him. It almost went further but he n I stopped ourselves. Though a bit disappointed I'm glad nothing went too far...In *name and address withheld* car. Under the influence.