Grandmother earth is sleeping

A myth

Once upon a time a long long time ago, grandmother earth lay sleeping. This was not an uncommon thing then, even as it is not uncommon now, snuggled under a blanket of snow, and snoring happily away. 

Now way back then, grandmother wasn’t always honest. She had a way of taking things that weren’t hers and stashing them in her belly button which is normal sized for her, but if you or I were to sit in the middle we couldn’t see the sides. So as grandmother earth lay sleeping she had a bedfellow tucked away in her belly button, a little box, that rattled and shook. She wasn’t paying any attention. Grandmother earth was snoring away.

See, she was all worn out this winter, because she’d just got back from a long long trip. Seven days earlier Grandmother had been invited to a big feast in the other world, you know - the one that isn’t this one, and when all the food was eaten, and all the strange and mighty beings were gone, grandmother stuck around. She begged a sore back, a bloated belly, and a long long journey ahead. The spirits knew she wasn’t always honest, but you can’t exactly kick an old lady out of your house, so they gave her a room for the night.

Imagine grandma, big blue and green bathrobe, padding up to her bed after a nice warm shower. She saw a big box labeled “souls” and she says “Oooh! Now this looks interesting.” And out goes that hand and into her belly button goes that box. There it stayed the whole way back, and now grandma is tired, she’s sleeping.

Now let this be a lesson to you, never keep things in your belly button because they don’t always stick. Grandma is sleeping, and the box is rattling, and all that rattling starts to itch, grandma is sleeping and down goes her hand and out pops that box, and it flies all the way to her elbow where it breaks open and all those souls go flying out.

And we’ve had a hu--------------ge problem on our hands ever since see. We’ve got spirits coming and trying to get the dang souls back. We’ve got souls wandering around wondering what the heck they’re going here. We’ve got grandmother earth ah-hollering and ah-hootin and ah-giggling and ah-roaring ever since, and we’ve got a dang lot of souls who like it here and aren’t showing any signs of heading back.

See souls are odd creatures and they aren’t from around here. They’re happiest when they’re helping out around the house, each in their own way, but they’ve got these dang spirits always pulling, and they don’t always know how. Sometimes they even figure it out for a while and then they forget and there’s that horrid stuff about dying when they really forget and have to learn how to use a body again. It’s a mess.            

So let this be a lesson to you. Never store things in your bellybutton, least of all strange boxes full of things you don’t understand. In fact it’s best not to steal at all, people look odd at you when you do. Be respectful of those otherworld folks, even if they’re trying to drag you off before your work is done.