My Disney Princess song

“The universe just isn’t giving me the ones I want.” I tell my mother. “I don’t want someone just to have someone. I’m ready for it to be the right someone, someone who I at least know it could work with.

“But everyone I get, is just a little off. I’m afraid I’m putting off the wrong resonance. How do I get it right?”

“Sing a Disney Princess song.” My mother says.

“What?”

“You know how at the beginning of the movie she sings a little song about what’s wrong and what she wants? And then the rest of the movie is about her getting that. Sing a song about what you want. Then the story can start.”

“Hmmm.”

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Start scene inside. Pan is heating water and putting it in a mason jar, gathering blankets. Zoom in to a calendar with “Longest night Vigil” scrawled across today’s date in Sharpie.

Pan goes outside to the front porch and sits cross legged on his pillow, wrapped in his blanket, snuggling up to his jar of hot water, and sipping on tea. In front of him is a tea light flickering against the darkness. Clouds whisk across bright stars, and a moon peeks from behind a fir.

Zoom back in to Pan as he begins to sing.

“Here I am, Sitting here Wondering what comes next. I know there’ll be a woman But I don’t know the rest.

Tell me of this Woman. Tell me how she’s mine. Tell me how she’s fairly gotten. Tell me how she shines.

Tell me of this Woman. Tell me how she’s herself. Tell me how she breaks expectations But love is still in wealth.

Here I am, sitting here A seer to all but love Blind to beauty all about But trusting in above.

Tell me of this Woman Tell me how she’s wise Tell me how her emotions swirl And how ideas arise.

Tell me of this Woman Tell me of the trust. Tell me how we’ll live together. Children, home, and lust. Here I am, sitting here Patient as a prize. I won’t settle for anything less Than some who can fly.

Tell me of this Woman Tell me how we’re right Tell me how we can hate each other How we still can fight.

Tell me of this Woman Tell me how we’re more than whole. Tell me how we don’t heal each other Tell me how we’re soul to soul.

Here I am, sitting here Wondering what comes next. Tell me of this wondrous woman. Tell me of the awesome se----ex.”

Pan giggles, and snuggles down further into his blankets, sipping his tea and trying to stay awake till dawn. Follow the steam up and let it race above the clouds until we drop down on a woman, perhaps standing outside looking at the same moon. She begins to sing.

“I want a man named Pan . . . “