It Looms Close

The only thing holding me together in my small cell was the piece of wrinkled parchment I held in my hand. Maybe, if I held it tight enough, it’d magically put the pieces of my life back into place again.

Maybe, I wouldn’t feel so lost.

The sound of footsteps approaching prompted me to turn around, facing the iron bars that held me prisoner. I could barely see anything. At this level of the dungeons, there was no way the sunlight could reach us. But I’d managed to sit, or lay down as little as possible during these seven days, weak or not. Pacing kept me alive. Motion kept me alive.

“Breakfast time Phoenix,” Aderic announced when he got to my cell. “Stand back.” 

I did as he requested. 

The cells for murderers and traitors didn’t have an opening for slipping trays of food through. They were not meant to last that long.

The guard opened the door, quickly stepping forward and holding out the tray. Someone else would kick the tray up and send it flying to his face; seize the opportunity to make a dashing escape. But someone else wouldn’t know the castle’s inner workings like maids do. I’d never live to see the sun again.

So, I took the tray. I noticed Aderic didn’t know quite where to look at. His training demanded of him to keep his eyes on me, but friendship didn’t let him. The tray shook in my hands. 

He turned to leave.

“Wait!” My voice sounded funny, raspy. I tried again. “Wait… I want to know… What’s happening up there? Have you seen my brother? He is out there… And I don’t know what to do. He doesn’t have a job. Have you seen him?”

He heaved a heavy sigh, and then shook his head. “I haven’t seen Silas. But no one is looking for him. They’re leaving him out of this.”

It felt good to talk. I wanted to continue talking. I’d talk and talk, and talk until my throat felt raw. I couldn’t remember half of the things I’d ever said in my life. I didn’t want my last words to be these thin threads swirling in the wind aimlessly, unnoticed.

Aderic shuffled his feet, still not turning back. “And, there is also… Nawal Krane has been named deputy king.” 

“Lord Krane, king?” I couldn’t help the disbelieving edge. “That’s outrageous! Sage should be on the throne.”

“They deemed him too young.”

“He’s old enough!”

He finally looked at me, taking one step towards my cell. “But why are you complaining to me?”

I opened my mouth, but then closed it. “I… You’re the only one who has spoken to me this week.”

“You killed the king. And I’m conflicted.”

That stung, but I couldn’t blame him. I rested my forehead against the bars. The last thing I wanted to talk about is how I killed the king. The bars were ice cold. Winter was coming fast in Wonderland. “Alright, anything else?”

“There’s… there’s a date.” 

Boom. I nodded slowly. “When?”

Silence.

“Aderic, when?”

A dozen curse words flashed through my mind, but they never left my mouth. Meaningful words, Phoenix. Meaningful words.

“Today… At sunset.”

I lifted my head. He was looking at me now. His brown eyes were solemn, as if I was already gone. 

“What are you conflicted about?” I asked when he was about to leave.

“I don’t know how I will help you out of this cell before that time comes.”