Systematically Contrived Creations

tick, tick, tick

The universe is immeasurable,
  we are merely infinitesimal
     machinery keeping pace,
as churning cogs tick wildly 
  transmitting within allotted time, 
attempting heartbeats' cohesion
  clocking our own honed destinations

   mid persistence of recherché memoirs,

  accumulating illusions betwixt masses

    awaiting return as a speck of dust

      in the never-ending saga of
           inexhaustible collectives 'tween
         systematically creative contrivances

Author's Note

Art - Salvador Dali

Reviews

[DoormanDan]

Well, I think this is the part where I go nuts about how much I absolutely adore this piece. Seriously, I'm somebody who tends to use really obscure and archaic words, but even I'm very impressed by this magnificent display of vocabulary! I love the way you describe the aesthetics of our existence, and also feel that the style you've delivered this piece in really captures the atmosphere you wanted to convey. Amazing work. I'm rather stunned by this! :)

[1VJ]

I'm gobsmacked myself! Wow, rather speechless at the moment. :) Many thanks!

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked the logical and true words. I wondered often. If my life worth a penny to the movement of life? I believe each of us have reason and purpose to be alive. Thank you Paloma for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[1VJ]

Many many pennies I'm sure Coyote, I think that's something we all ponder, thanks for your thoughts.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome Paloma.

[Lydia Shutter]

recherché - absolutely LOVE that word! It is the exotic and the obscure that makes poetry special....no contrivances allowed! :) Wonderful write. Lydi**

[1VJ]

So do I, been wanting to use it for a while, thanks so much Lydi! And I concur. :)

[redzone]

it is indeed interesting looking at clocks, the universe, our lives while looking at a Dali-esque work of art.. his vision is one of surreal imagination and I think you have captured this same unique vision with your words here Paloma... we are after all, everything, matter in motion and constant change or as some would say.. star stuff!!! star stuff which has evolved into conscious human beings.. wonderful and in many just as surreal as a Dali painting...

I might add this though: systematically??? yes there are systems and the way things work as they come into being into existence... but if seen in another light may also seem like systematically could read as designed or foretold, predetermined.... had to happen, when isn't it more true to see that there are endless possibilities and out comes even within the very fabric of what currently exists?? or has existed... history is what it is but at any point within a history a different outcome could have occurred...

anyway, I love this poem cause it gives rise to good art and to seeking out different thoughts and pathways and even going to places where on first reading you did not envision... folding clocks and folding words tend to allow such travels... thank you for this Paloma...

in the future I will try to say what I mean using less words... but I happen to appreciate your poem...

redzone

[1VJ]

Wow, I'm overwhelmed by your response, thanks for taking the time.

Of course you could argue that but you'd lose, maybe I should have said methodically, nothing is comprised, it's an ordered system, and we have no say to our conclusion.

Besides it worked better with clocks and churning cogs. :)

[Carolynn]

Well when you put it like that - wow! What is this crazy thing called life really for? You have created quite the masterpiece with this one Paloma :) love the artwork you chose for this :) so well done!

[1VJ]

I'm flattered, thank you so much Carolynn! :)

[mattavelli]

Hello, Paloma! :)
Hu?... I'll interpret this as something to do with situations. Haha. I'm not good at this.
I like the painting. I went to a Dali museum a long time ago. He's one of my favorites.

[1VJ]

Thanks for reading Matt, feel free to interpret my poetry any way you desire. :)

[Ed Hart]

you certainly have the pace of it, the ticking and the tocking and the face of it...a kind of arm's distance analysis, much like the Dali...astute, precise, intelligent

[1VJ]

You rhymed, thanks for the poetic critique, much appreciated Ed.