Systematically Contrived Creations

tick, tick, tick

The universe is immeasurable,
  we are merely infinitesimal
     machinery keeping pace,
as churning cogs tick wildly 
  transmitting within allotted time, 
attempting heartbeats' cohesion
  clocking our own honed destinations

   mid persistence of recherché memoirs,

  accumulating illusions betwixt masses

    awaiting return as a speck of dust

      in the never-ending saga of
           inexhaustible collectives 'tween
         systematically creative contrivances

Author's Note

Art - Salvador Dali

Reviews

[DoormanDan]

Well, I think this is the part where I go nuts about how much I absolutely adore this piece. Seriously, I'm somebody who tends to use really obscure and archaic words, but even I'm very impressed by this magnificent display of vocabulary! I love the way you describe the aesthetics of our existence, and also feel that the style you've delivered this piece in really captures the atmosphere you wanted to convey. Amazing work. I'm rather stunned by this! :)

[1VJ]

I'm gobsmacked myself! Wow, rather speechless at the moment. :) Many thanks!

[Alfred Kukitz]

i have fallen off the edge, half flattened like a pancake saucer awaiting flight to my wholeness........tick......tick.......tick!

regards,
al

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahaha ..yes ..systematically contrived indeed ... only if we die and come back however ;) if you added space to L5 it would rhyme with pace ..not that that makes any difference what so ever ..it just popped into the noodle as i read .. i like the mental mechanizations of this challenge fo the Divine and a Divine PLan ... plinks my noggin' to tick'n and click'n ...nicely presented ..deeply thought out says i! and i love the Dali
E.

[Neville]

Time eh'. What a wonderful way with words she has, well woven indeed. Keep on ticking my friend....

[Fabian G. Franklin]

A very philosophical and metaphorical read. Every finely tuned timepiece is dependent upon some tiny part. The watchmaker knows this. Now, whether the ant knows he is needed to help the peony bloom, I cannot say. But he does know the taste of something sweet. There are no coincidences but many variations. More questions than answers but what does it matter? Can we trust in what we do not know? So we do our part; all the tiny pieces and whirring cogs and springs...we move the hands... and time goes on.

[A hare off]

So many things are immeasurable, life, love, hate, who we are and who we are expected to be. Sometimes the weight of it all collapses into a big pile of questions. This is a masterpiece of thoughts, a fine poetic glimpse beyond all we feel

[Ken Simm.]

Clockwork words that fit very well what you are saying. The rhythm is exqusite.

[Norman 223]

Like the universe you describe, your vocabulary , if not immeasurable, is certainly awe inspiring and eclectic. I particularly liked the idea of our persistent recherche memoirs governing our future. Nurture controlling our nature, regardless of our age.
Norman

[1VJ]

Much appreciate your thoughts Norman, thank you.

[Ruth]

This is breathtaking Paloma, you not only touch upon the vastness of our eternal being but so much more entwined within and without that...wow...amazing piece :)

[1VJ]

Thanks for your amazing review Poppy. :)

[Lorry]

Nice. This makes me think of a lecture I once attended, where the lecturer simply stated, that if all time was a straight line, the time we humans have been here would barely dot an I, yet we see our own mark, good and bad, everywhere. It also reminds me of Imagine, by John Lennon, it has that "bigger than us" feel to it. Beautifully captured.

[1VJ]

Thanks Nemo, yes we humans are consumed by the inexplicable notions of time. Wow, John Lennon, I'm thrilled.

[Shannon]

Wow (what an inarticulate way of reacting to such a well worded piece)! Your word choice feels carved in granite : precise, immutable, excess pared away.

There is a message here about our place in the universe. I read small, but unique and an integral component of existence.

[1VJ]

Thanks so much, your critique is poetic. I'll take a inarticulate 'wow' any day. :)