NOT a storybook ending

NOT a storybook ending

A Poem by 1VJ

Unabashedly fell into his world,
his dark brooding made him
all the more mysterious
undoubtedly sparked magnetism, 
there was a powerful energy
in telling his wartime tidings,
but I, in my womanly
fashioned ill-conceived notions 
thought I'd rock his entire world 
to gingerly conquer heights so
he'd never be coerced to look back 
on those unfathomable stories, 
manifestations proved desperately
misguided, it was never meant to be 
an officer and a gentleman ending

© 2015 1VJ


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Sometimes a long string with many complex words like this can add a bit of a stilted sound to a poem, but in this case, it does not feel too cerebral . . . I can feel the passionate power all along, even tho your message feels like it's being spat out in somewhat of a well-crafted spiel. Your point is well-made & always relevant.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

1VJ

8 Years Ago

I didn't think them complex but I understand what you're saying. It was spat out in a spiel sort of... read more
barleygirl

8 Years Ago

I like using unusual or complex words, but sometimes in the heat of passion, it's more direct & hear.. read more



Reviews

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
~
Passionate and true to the intent of the heart and mind. Gotta love those original stories :D

Posted 9 Years Ago


I love this. It starts with falling and hopes, then moves onto realisation with the wonderfully penned lines "but I, in my womanly
fashioned ill-conceived notions" ...I love that, I don't know why but it's a great line.
And finally the fallout/ conclusion of it never being an officer and a gentleman ending. They rarely are what we imagine, but your words here ring out to me. Great wtite Paloma, as ever.

Posted 9 Years Ago


"I'd rock his entire world
to gingerly conquer heights so
he'd never be coerced to look back
on those unfathomable stories,"
So true. Some stories are never by the book or as anticipated. Things can change in the blink of an eye even if we have thought we could control things. An excellent poem....:)..................

Posted 9 Years Ago



2
next Next Page
last Last Page
Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

668 Views
13 Reviews
Rating
Added on September 19, 2015
Last Updated on September 20, 2015

Author

1VJ
1VJ

Trivandrum, NY, India



About
Another speck of carbon, this one. Sentient and sagacious, yet affable. Advocate of Fantasy and Gaming, this one. Artistic and pugnacious, yet subtle. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..