NOT a storybook ending

Unabashedly fell into his world,

his dark brooding made him

all the more mysterious

undoubtedly sparked magnetism, 

there was a powerful energy

in telling his wartime tidings,

but I, in my womanly

fashioned ill-conceived notions 

thought I'd rock his entire world 

to gingerly conquer heights so

he'd never be coerced to look back 

on those unfathomable stories, 

manifestations proved desperately

misguided, it was never meant to be 

an officer and a gentleman ending

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Sometimes a long string with many complex words like this can add a bit of a stilted sound to a poem, but in this case, it does not feel too cerebral . . . I can feel the passionate power all along, even tho your message feels like it's being spat out in somewhat of a well-crafted spiel. Your point is well-made & always relevant.

[1VJ]

I didn't think them complex but I understand what you're saying. It was spat out in a spiel sort of. :)

[barleygirl]

I like using unusual or complex words, but sometimes in the heat of passion, it's more direct & heartfelt if the word choices are short & straightforward. Either way, I am guilty of using complicated logic & messages sometimes, rather than gut-level spewing out of feelings.

[redzone]

aaaahhh disappointments, the place where reality and illusions meet and go "splat"... can relate to this as well, sorry it also happened to you.. but I guess there is no vaccine for this is there !!???

redzone

[1VJ]

They need to come up with a vaccine, good idea! Thanks redzone.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow, the disappointment shouts in this poem...opposite ending to the fairy tale expected, anticipated.
a very moving and sad write...but done with such panache...

[1VJ]

Oh panache, I'm so flattered, thanks Jacob.

[Chris]

This touches on many realities and is timeless in its truth.

[1VJ]

Too many realities I'm afraid, thanks for your time.

[Great Aunt Astri]

Our aspirations don't always(in fact very seldom) get realised. I think this was a very poignant poem Liked it very much.

[Troy Henson]

If only we all could experience that fairytale ending. Enjoyed the read. Thank you:)

[Dhaye]

Maybe some love stories happen like fairy tales, but most don't.
Some things are really never meant to be...

Well-written.

[Einstein Noodle]

well done! smooth read ... well said says i! all fairy tales can not be ended in the sunshine eh!? i like the straight plain talk .. with swirls of sirens lace ... dangerous cliffs ... the old war dog and the angel ;)
E.

[Briana]

How interesting! It may only be that my eyes are tired after a great deal of wonderful reading, but this seemed to move almost too quickly. Don't misunderstand, of course, I loved it. I wish I had more experience with such lovely poetry so that I might give a better review, but very well done!

[An owl on the moon]

What a powerful glimpse into the soul of loving, of living to transform like a scene from a movie, but ending up so wanting, aching in the sorrow of it all.