For You.

For you...

I'll gather eternal futures

and recite verses

from endless planets.  

With every star,

that sparks the sky,

I'll direct their light toward my devotion

for the whole world to see.  

We'll watch yesterday

drift away,

in swirls

of sunset ripples.  

Author's Note

I'm not crazy about this one so.........

Thanks to Kaiju.

Reviews

[Dr. YumnaKay]

"We'll watch yesterday
.........drift away
in swirls of sunset ripples."
This is amazingly good! We always keep our hopes high, don't we? Always wishing for a better tomorrow and that too with the one we love..
Nicely penned!

[Bare trees]

Thank you.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

You are welcome! ☺

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

A sweet promise to a special someone...
romantic notions and sweet metaphors.

[Bare trees]

I appreciate the reviews.

[Josie E. Cook M. A.]

I pleasure to read, :)

[Orchid]

This has universal appeal :)
Alluringly romantic

[Bare trees]

Thanks so much Orchid. :D

[Cat]

Amazing!!! I really like how magnificent you created the subject to be, bigger than the stars or skies or sun. Great.

[Bare trees]

Thanks so much Cat.

[~]

An eternal devotion, measureless like the oceanic sky above us. A wondrous imagery!
beautiful poem!

[Bare trees]

Thanks very much.

[DeirdreInShadows]

i love the imagery - though vague, the use of diction does the trick. Very romantic.

[Bare trees]

Whatever. ha Thank you.

[thundershine]

We'll watch yesterday
.........drift away
in swirls of sunset ripples.

Love this!

[Bare trees]

Thank you very much.

[SunAngel7]

So romantic! You got me at "For You...." and the rest is awesomeness *dramatic sigh* :)

[Bare trees]

Thank you.

[Ruth]

How beautiful...such dedication is a blessing to know and behold :)

[Bare trees]

Thank you very much.

[Jordan]

"I will gather eternal futures
and recite verses
from each of their moons."

Even in an artistic context it doesn't make sense. Since you're going with the cosmic love theme I would suggest something like 'endless planets' or something to go along with the rest of the poem.

Other than that it was good. The ending was iffy but it worked.

8/8

[Bare trees]

Thank you.