Change

Change

A Poem by Pakino

A stroke of the pen

Transforms the world like a torrent of wind

Creating a-new

The flows of ignorance extinguished

Darkness of a culture transformed

Radical dreams realized

Light of inner beauty extinguishing the dark desires of the heart

The ink continues to drip

On empty Thoughts, On open Mind

 

 

© 2009 Pakino


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Pj
"Darkness of a culture transformed">>>great line

My only thought was to perhaps change the part where you use 'extinguished' and 'extinguishing'...mix it up a bit with a new word for one of those sentences

Posted 15 Years Ago


Very well done my friend! I like how you say so much using just the "right" words, how you get so much meaning into just a few sentences. I agree with Veronica's review, very descriptive, Fantastic!

Posted 15 Years Ago


Very descriptive words used, I like this. [:

"The ink continues to drip
On empty thoughts, On open mind."

Fantastic!

Posted 15 Years Ago



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3 Reviews
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Added on March 8, 2009
Last Updated on March 8, 2009

Author

Pakino
Pakino

Toronto



About
Student at Ryerson University. Martial Artist (Kendo) Guitarist Gamer (RPG w00t) Anime And pure randomness more..

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