I DIE A LITTLE.

This is how I feel deep in my heart.

I DIE A LITTLE.
......................
Walking through this narrow lane
The one you call as your heart,
I find words of joy, and a few of pain
A rusted bracelet, a silver chain;
In one corner lies a broken picture
I wipe the mud, and read the scripture;
"MY FIRST LOVE" is what is there
A cracked face and eyes that stare;
Long forgotten by you, and by her
I stand shocked and frozen there;

There lies a book imprisoning dead roses
As i open the pages of history;
And walk through the bygone times
The air brings your lost words of passion
The ones you had murmured in her ears;
My face feels wet time and again
With the past dampness of your tears;

As I cleaned up the mess,
I thought of her less;
THrew out all that was past
BUt my bliss was not to last;
For, you still hid a memento, a letter
May be to read and read again
May be you still loved her
Or, may be it was my silly thought
I know not , I know not.

I got up and ran away
Till the ends of this world;
I still keep running far
Though you hold me in your arms
My soul struggles to be free;
AND each moment I die a little,
My killer is 'SHE.'

.........THE END.......

-PADMA.

Author's Note

Waiting to be justly criticised.I've never made my writings public...so i'm clueless how i write.

Reviews

[bluessadmood]

God how sweet all this ,what lovely feelings told here
so much passion ,and haunting memories..

As I walk through the lanes of my heart..find words of joy and some pains
In a corner lies a broken face ,picture of you ..I wipe the mud,it reads:my first love
That stare long forgotten by you and her as I stand frozen and shocked
And there lies the book of red roses,it opens pages of history
I walk through some bygone times..Hear words of passion you whispered in her ears
And my face feels wet with tears..as I get up and run away
Though you hold me,my soul struggles to be free
Each moment I die a little..she is the killer of me
lovely write..

[deepesh]

da perfect way to show insecurity ! thoughtful of the writer to so strongly potray a third person "her" without including her in the text....

[Flow~]

Very nice write. You captured many feelings and emotions.

[Lydia]

I really enjoyed how you just open your heart in this poem, but I wasn't a big fan of the third stanza. It seemed like you were trying a bit too hard there, or maybe not hard enough. Overall though, great write!

[[untitled]]

you put alot of emotion in this poem...alot of pain felt in this one..well writen

[nora]

oh god, this is great! i love the narrator's journey and the ideas behind are simply amazing! gosh, this is just too good. lol.

"In one corner lies a broken picture
I wipe the mud, and read the scripture;
"MY FIRST LOVE" is what is there
A cracked face and eyes that stare;"

those lines were my favorite. the imagery was fantastic and i could so clearly picture a girl like, seeing the face of her beloved's first love. i think that you never really forget first loves, even if the memories fade eventually :)
again, just stick to the rhyming if you want to rhyme, or dont rhyme at all. but this is still a really great poem :)

[Paladin4life]

I feel the pain of this piece. You portrayed it well. I think most people will be able to relate to this piece. I know that I feel as if you borrowed a few of the whispered laments of my own heart. Wonderful piece!

[Cherrie Palmer]

the images you made flow just like the words that match them
this was a good read