That gave me the chills, but only one suggestion *you're*
I know, I'm sorry... I'm one of those people.
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
Haha! Good catch Amory! I'm surprised nobody else on here caught it, or myself for that matter. You .. read moreHaha! Good catch Amory! I'm surprised nobody else on here caught it, or myself for that matter. You have a sharp eye (;
And thank you for pointing that out! We all need a few grammar Nazis to keep this sight clean. (; Thanks!
9 Years Ago
Haha thank you, and no problem.
Here's my revision: "... trace your skin." And "...you're no.. read moreHaha thank you, and no problem.
Here's my revision: "... trace your skin." And "...you're not alone."
I do like the image you are portraying, I never imagined that just 12 worlds could give me a fright.
Cheers :)
I'm going to go ahead and assume the previous reviewer saw a different version. This was well done!
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you Brianna! I think he didn't know that this had to be a twelve word story for the contest. A.. read moreThank you Brianna! I think he didn't know that this had to be a twelve word story for the contest. And you did an excellent job yourself!
9 Years Ago
Wait, re-reading his review made it more clear. He was suggesting that you replace the word "skin" w.. read moreWait, re-reading his review made it more clear. He was suggesting that you replace the word "skin" with one of the three words he offered up.
I like it as is, but I substituted "cheek", "neck", and "ear" for "skin"; and could feel it just a tad more. Perhaps I'm too sensitive and will shudder when the tiny hairs on the back of my ear are touched.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
yea, I agree that those substitutions could have made this story a little scarier. However it was wr.. read moreyea, I agree that those substitutions could have made this story a little scarier. However it was written to be a contestant for "12-word horror story contest". So I can only switch skin for one of your suggestions (or else cut something else) . If so, which one would you recommend?
I'm a college student, originally from Kashmir, and my goal in writing is to change how we see the world. My favorite book is a Thousand Splendid Suns. more..