Dear Dad

This sorta just came out of me... meant to be rapped.

"You okay?"

Is what you say

But I can't even

tell you

that I've

had a bad day

Cuz you'll go off

About your problems...

But hey,

don't get me wrong

I'm not ungrateful

What you do for me and Dan..

I'm so thankful!

But there comes a time

when you gotta choose sides

You gotta decide

what laws you'll abide

gonna be the working father

who has no time for his kids

pays the rent and for the food

But is so busy he rids

himself of any chance,

any love there might be

whatever relationship there was

is long-since been

erased from their hearts

Or do you wanna be the Daddy

who may not work as many hours

And yeah, may not have as much money

But have the time

to nourish

to love

two lost teens

in a world of hate

of heartbreak and

torn seams

All I want is for you to listen

I know you love me, Dad,

but it making me so sad

that the twinkle in your eyes

is lost to the world

The future unfurls

Your kids are grown

Moved out

No longer Daddy's little girl

I don't think you've heard

A damn word

I've said

This whole year

Seems ever since Mom left

we're a burden

a weight with heft

You say you love us

Yeah, I know you do

But it's getting harder

to look you in the eye

I'm sorry but it's true

I don't feel like I know you, Dad

Please don't get mad

But I'm about to lie to you

Even though I wish you really knew

what I feel inside

But here comes the tide

I'll just smile and nod

Though this whole deal is flawed

Then we can dine

Over a silent meal.

Here it goes, the classic line:

"Yeah, Dad.

 

I'm fine".

 

 

Author's Note

So... yeah. You really have to read it aloud for it to sound okay. It's a rap. Rythm's not my thing, obviously, but I tried my best.

Reviews

[Taylor H.]

This was a wonderful poem/rap. My father left us when I was 4 so I know how you feel. Lovely write

[Livana Lowell]

I think this is better off being just a poem to me because there's no chrous, and the words are a little awkward to form a beat.

As a poem, I really like it and think a lot of people can relate, well except for me of course. I don't know my father, but I like how this pulls out a situation, emotions, all between an airless conversation.

However, I don't think "classic" is the right word, I'd picture something like "cliche" or something that isn't connotated with a lighter atmosphere because the mood is a little gloomy.

Otherwise, there's so much to say that I can't gather right now.

[Bubo]

Great flow.......and reminds me that some relationships are just so flawed, a daddy who has been left to deal with kids and a broken heart, feeling of failure, and a daughter desperate to have a dad, but covers all the emotions up, really sad, but true for so many.
Great write, and if its true I would pass on to Dad to read, sometimes we see nothing but our own pain.

[Alicante lullaby]

great...but if i were you,i would show it to my father...not the classic line..wonderful.

[manchilld99]

True to life. It goes to show how many dimensions there may be to every conversation and interaction. As to the rhythm, it's fine because in creating a rap or a spoken-word piece, you will speak it in a way that the rhythm fits. Good depiction.

[Miss Coral]

The rhythm is a bit off for me, but overall, I think that this is very well done. c:

[A]

Wow! I can see a daughter standing right in front of her dad as he asks her if she is ok. And she stands there with her head down thinking about everything she wants to say and everything she just wants to let out and then she looks up and answers with a lie. This poem was REALLY good! I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this! I know I sure can. Loved the emotion and the rhythm of this piece! GREAT poem! :)

[Lydia Blackwell]

I am glad that you know he loves you. We all just do the best we can and cope with what skills we are given. I am glad you see both sides of it. Kudos for your insight and good writing.

[Iota]

I think this poem brings real Dad and daughter issues to the forefront. As parents we want the best for our children and we want them to have more than we did so we dive into work thinking money is the answer when sometimes it is just us taking time to listen and to be apart of our children lives. I like this little look in the mind of a daughter missing her father wishing he was more apart of her life. Excellent write.

[ashley]

I love this, it's fantastic. I am in love with rap and I think you did it well. Great poem, really. Love it! :D 100/100