Current State Of The

My face Is clean.
My heart hurts less.
Some of the knifes removed from my body.
Those wounds still bleeding from the hurt.
Yet I shake and shake feeling over happy.
From months of feeling down. I.. I feel whole..
I feel as one.
My heart..my heart..beats like it used to.
My soul..my soul... still aches from losing you.
Talking and being with now just feels like it used to be.
Yet I can not say those three words I want to say.
You would want my mouth sewn shut to silence my love I want to share. As we are In the same area I try to not make eye contact with who I used to love.
Cause If I do... I don't know if words will spill or lips will meet.
In my brain, It says "no he does not want this he already made up his mind."
Yet my heart says " say those words. meet for once. It will not hurt to do what your heart really wants. Cause you look away as he talks to you, you just hurt for not staring into beauty long enough to drift to your full self".
Your heart screams "I love you. I love you."
Over and over out loud.
You do not hear It.
Cause It does not matter to you anymore.
Those words are not said cause you do not want those words. Those words want you. yet my heart does by not saying It day by day.