A dream of Scare..

Silken dreams 

Smooth yet Slippery

Sunken senses 

In an immortal sleep

lays in rest and peace 

hopes from finely woven pure silky bliss..

  Some serious scrutiny 

     from life's spin and destiny

No escape from the fire of fate's treacherous spree 

Draped in silken dreams 

Caught in flames 

    All around, are;

Fumes of silken hues 

             Irresistible burning... 

  Blisters of left over hopes 

Popping one after another 

Nothing to fathom the burnt body of despair 

No one to pull out many burnt silken strands 

glued to the burning wounds 

over the skin and deep within 

Lay burnt and torn silken threads of 

 silken Dreams..

Wounds so fatal 

Beyond repair 

Scars so deep 

like gorge in bosom

Blood dripped from all veins 

The only colour 

That painted the charred body..

that once wore a silken robe  

of dreams so magnificent..

A dream of scare..

 

 

Reviews

[Trigorin]

Not bad, but some of your word choice seems a little off. I do get what you're going for, I just don't know that you've gotten the mood quite right for this piece - it seems just a little too solemn.

[PP]

I appreciate your review Trigorin, but it would help a lot if you can explain the words being a little off a bit more, is it that the choice of words were off the context? I didn't the solemn bit too..

I am here to get honest reviews, so really appreciate your views about this poem but will be glad to learn more :)

Cheers

[Trigorin]

The part that really stands out as being a little odd is the second stanza.

[PP]

Without the second stanza don't think the poem would make any sense at all..

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Passion can either heat up our dreams or burn them to the ground... a wickedly intense poem.

[PP]

Thank you Dale :)

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

You are welcome.

[MAC]

i had that same dream last night!! :) has a vampire from hell feel to it.

"Blisters of left over hopes
Popping one after another
Nothing to fathom the burnt body of despair
No one to pull out many burnt silken strands
glued to the burning wounds
over the skin and deep within
Lay burnt and torn silken threads of
silken Dreams.."

an incredible and brilliant stanza!

[PP]

Thank you Mark for passing by, really glad to meeting you here and I will look forward to your writings :))

[MAC]

it is always a pleasure to read not only something new but different and intelligent. :)

[PP]

Thank you Mark..:))

[Holly Mason]

wow truly nice...gives the reader much to ponder and love the art work
silken dreams can be quite slippery but understanding is a great way to get a grasp
thank you for sharing much

[PP]

Thank you Holly..I got the pic of the girl from Google but I have photoshoped the flames and changed it just to fit well to this poem. I am glad you like it :)

[Holly Mason]

it does look like something is behind the flames is there?I am photo lucky my teenager is a photographer so I have a gazzilion in my pc always seem to find one to match my words

[PP]

wow that is amazing :) Ya the back drop is a girl just a silhouette..

[Holly Mason]

I see it now thank you

[PP]

:)