Bang!!!

A dead-end, 

A Fast moving thing, 

A hard collision,

Bang! 

Shattered to bits.

Broken arms and broken legs.

Got no strength, 

To get up.

And,

No one around to pick up the pieces. 

The thing lays, 

After the bang;

Unconscious 

Untouched 

Un-asked for!

Pain of helplessness; 

Oozing out of the fresh wounds. 

Body in hell. 

Desolate heart,

Grieving out loud

With failure.

Tears have dried. 

Fears have died.

Urge for survival,

Persistent on revival.

Reviews

[fireblossom]

So far your poems are like live action. Urgent. Real. Colorful. Emotional. I think there is a serious poet at work here.

[PP]

Such kind words, thank you:)

[Ami Bovurd]

ow me head hurts after this lol! sounds like a train aciddent :)

[PP]

hahaha Ami:)

[fireblossom]

or after cocktails at my in-laws...

[PP]

haha :)

[JC]

I actually thought of Frida Khalo reading this...interesting

[PP]

Frida Khalo, to be honest with you I had to google her! I am honoured. Thanks Jason :)

[JC]

she was in a bus accident, thats how it reminded me of her and no problem...being an artist yourself I think you would very much like her paintings...

[PP]

Thank you Jason will look forward to reading your creations :)

[AYVID N]

Does this this happen to every relationship? Does every relationship come with an expiry date? I wonder often and grieve. You put it so well. Pain of helpnesseness oozing out of fresh wounds, body in helll, desolate heart, grieving...i can feel it all in your words! 100/100

[PP]

Thanks Divya, I am glad you enjoyed it! Answer to your question, I don't think I know, don't think anyone knows lol!!! How are you feeling today? Still furious haha!

[Clockwork]

I can see how this would be about love. It has all the makings of a relationship in those turbulent days just before the end. Frida and I must have similar love lives at the moment, because this sounds like how mine has been for the last four months.

Oh, and did anyone else think for a split second this could be applicable to a car accident too? I felt like some of the images and some of the details from the metaphor lend themselves to that idea as well.

[PP]

You're right there Christian! Car accident ya..could very well be. I guess I had two things in mind when I wrote this one. The first 'course relationships and the second is damage a dead-end causes to someone's dreams, aspirations, ambitions etc etc. It is about that Bang of hopelessness after knowing that you have crashed and there are only pieces left of you. Hard to gather courage to fight back in love and in life! I could go on all day but I'll leave the interpretation to you :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

the metaphor works well..."the thing lies" would be grammatically correct and also provide a double meaning in the line...just a thought.

but a piece that comes at the reader and leaves nowhere for the reader to dodge the collision.

jacob

[PP]

The Thing Lies: It is an incredible suggestion Jacob, thanks for this one :) Your presence glorifies my writing !

[Phillitup]

Remarkable, sad, dark, imaginable...great write!:)

[PP]

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed reading this one:)

[mary green]

this is a remarkable, tightly clenched piece of rage put into words. i especially love how 'bang!' stylistically echoes in the lonely 'and' down below.

[PP]

Thank you Mary for stopping by and for your kind words :)

[DrD]

The truth is that most relationships leave this kind of wreckage. The upside is that there is always someone . . . . THAT someone . . . . who know exactly how to put it all back together again, forever.

[PP]

So true that is D!! That someone eh!!

[Frieda P]

Sounds like your talking about my love life here! Either way, an exhilarating impact of a read! ;-)

[PP]

hahahaha Frieda, you're a mind reader or something...gosh???? Or have you got a crystal ball!!!! You caught me on this one :)

[Frieda P]

hahaha I knew it....just didn't want to out you, been there, I recognize it well! Kudos ;)

[PP]

Marvelous, you've got powers lady x

[Frieda P]

haha that's why they call me a b***h, I mean witch! ;P

[PP]

hahahahahaha, you make me laugh !! Come on cast some spell, need one desperately lol