#19- Facsimile.

Near carbon copy.

Talking everyday, again.

Hours at a time.

Several days now.

For a moment

It felt like things

Were back to the way

They used to be.

So strange, 

That just a week or two ago,

We'd go days without 

Communicating.

Not a single shred of text.

Weeks without the

Sound of your voice.

But,

Tonight you messaged me

About being at dinner.

About driving home.

About reaching home.

All in the span of minutes.

But something is different

This time.

Things aren't quite the same.

Something has changed.

Some quality, intangible.

Some feeling, ineffable. 

Some pain, insufferable.

The rose colored image

Before me is 

Not the one I once knew.

And the devil I don't know

In the details 

Taunts me.

No.  I don't really flirt 

With you anymore.

But that's not it.

No.  The familiar terms 

Of endearment are gone.

But that's not it.

No.  Jokes are a little 

Less dirty.

But that's not it.

Yes.  The reflection in the mirror 

Is a shade different, now.

I'm a bit thinner.

Tidied beard and mustache.

Got my hair cut today too.

Generally a bit more life in me to boot!

But that's not it either.

Perhaps--simply speaking, 

It's a just a matter of perspective.

Maybe the illusion 

Has simply died.

As far as I can tell, 

It's quite clear what this isn't,

This time.

This isn't a real romantic relationship.  

This isn't the preamble to one.

This isn't things changing.

Or is it?

He's still around.  

For now, at least.

He graduates in a couple weeks.

And you two will move 

To different cities this summer, I imagine.

You've said nothing 

About what happens 

After.

So--is that why you've suddenly 

Warmed up so much again, Miss?

But, I digress.

After all, perhaps the question

Isn't about what it probably isn't.

But what it is.  

Or might yet be.  

Or if any of that even matters at all.

I'm much happier 

With you back in my life,

Like this.

And the sound 

Of your voice is still 

Just as lovely.

And maybe it's okay.

Maybe it's all I need

For now.

Author's Note

Continuing to experiment with lengths and phrasing I feel are appropriate.

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

when things change, they change...we can go through the same motions...but that something missing can never be repossessed ....never.