Ballad of Chaos

 Unfortunately vast,

It’s out of control,

How long does it last?

It burns the soul.

Burning fast, Burning free,

It's on a roll.

 "Controlled chaos" they say,

To the man who lost it all. 

 "Stay away from me man,

Stay away indeed,

I don't need what your selling,

I don't want any weed."

 Those who once,

Dressed clad in slacks,

Now roam ‘freed’,

from reality’s grasp.

 His family has tried,

To curb his addiction,

Alas to no avail,

Their voices were thin.

 He used to comb his hair,

Before the drugs found him,

Now he just stares,

Eyes cold as tin.

 It’s out of control,

Turning the nice cross,

Wretched as a whole,

The ballad of chaos.

Author's Note

What emotions does this evoke in YOU? Also, I appreciate constructive criticism.

Reviews

[Crow]

This piece contains saddness of a spirit lost to the chaos of life, yet the message is strong...any of us, no matter our origin may fall prey to lifes chaos. Addiction is just the means by which we fall prey and lose ourselves.

[Dove]

I like how this piece kinda shows how addiciton can like seriously take over a person mind... and life. You wrote this very well and I had a fine time reading it.

[LinBin]

A descriptive piece of how any addiction can overtake ones mind and life, a well written poem x

[Sapph]

I can relate to this a lot, having seen people go through the highs and extreme lows of addiction, not just to weed but to harder drugs. I think that it is a very cold and harsh depiction of someone going through an addiction, but a very accurate one nonetheless. It shows the slow breakdown in the person, how they begin to stop caring about their appearance and their life in general, how they have a less fulfilling life. Beautifully written.

[rwar ish me]

this is nice and well written.
I have been with people that have this addiction and its not pretty
It brings back memories.
But i enjoyed reading this piece
~Amai

[Rakesh Roushan]

Addiction swiftly drives the addicted into complete unknown world..
Gr8 poem .... I must say .... I love the rhyming scheme used

...I'm kinda known for lengthy reviews by now and always trying to implement constructive criticism, but I'm sorry to say that my reputation here would probably be deceiving, for length is not an issue here, but I will implement a constructive response for you.

The first being that of the subject since it is one I hold dearly, but clearly not in the same aspect. My background implies that I'm both a studier of law and politics, thus where mostly my aspects of the so-called "drug wars" comes from.
I study lots of information, some not much of the public tends to read about. But before I begin with the poem itself, let me ask you, have you ever smoked weed yourself?

Clearly you haven't or you wouldn't have the same perspective. Or you've tried synthetics which are really bad for your health and just make you as paranoid as all get out. There are many beneficiaries of marijuana products, even economically (something you don't hear much about).
Before I will probably have to usually list all of the good aspects of the marijuana culture and product, I advise you to actually do your own research before making false accusations or identifying as something of negative value simply cause you know someone who's done it.
I know someone who swam and drowned, does that make water bad? No, but too much of it can kill you.
Just like being lazy smoking pot all the time and never getting a job and supplementing that for being a pusher leads to a high risk life of crime and an ignorant style of life. Some people are pigs and just can't handle it, they end up liking it too much or just going overboard with it (plus the thug s**t on TV doesn't help) while people with a brain actually do use it for medical purposes and smoke it for the simple calming effect.
Also, nature itself produces chemicals to get you high, and so does your body. Endorphins for example. By denying anything with psychoactive compounds or even simple THC you deny that nature is even right. Sorry I'm just one of those guys who is "everything's made for a reason"

I'm gunna outright tell you that addiction = bologny.
And both psychology and science will prove it if you do your research correctly.
Sorry to bring the bad news to you that the DARE bear officers which fed your head with this stuff is all wrong, and mostly likely your parents too if they taught you this stuff. But I'm not gunna tell you all your ideas are wrong, but rather take it as me letting you know: well, you might be going in the wrong direction.
Years of prohibition is a lesson of what we're talking about now, and all I'm asking you to do is think for yourself.

I like to think of myself as a smart man, or at least one with his head on his shoulders even though he dropped out cause he found school too lame to put up with and they didn't let him skip grades and go to college, but hey, I love my life, and I don't take nothing back. But if you tell me weed had something to do with it, you're telling a good joke at best where it's at.
If anything, weed led me to wanna be a botanist - studier of plants. Really wanna study natural medicines (what people call a "medicine man") and improve the job market for them, though I'm really focusing on my writing career right now.
So chaos + drugs = simple cliche
I hope for yourself and others alike, you'll realize this some day.

Now as for the poem:
My only criticism would be that of stanza 6. the rhyme scheme was broken there. But overall I find it pretty well done, even if I do disagree with the subject value.
90/100 I'll rate yo.

[Margarette]

Once a person gets addicted to anything, that person cannot control his desires and he will suffer the most. Drugs make people do anything to get their hands on it (once it gets in your system, you can't stop it.) even if it means giving all their money for it. This poem makes the reader think "How far can one push over through life to get his desires?" and certainly, I'm one of those.

[Dahlia Phoenix]

Drugs can be the downfall of one. To me honestly though, marijuana doesn't ruin your life. Its a way to relax not like other drugs. In a way, I know its a lead to other drugs but only for those who are foolish enough to look cool. They may be a gateway to escape reality but in the end, nothing but despair will roam in one's being. Great poem.