The Elfin and the Knight. (Part 1.)

One of the longest pieces I've written, a saga I've yet to finish, an attempt at an old style ballad about an elfin girl and the knight who falls in love with her. Cliche, yes, but read on!

The elfin girl's light steps through the forests,
to a longing of someone else,
she, leaves, no sound.
Irreplaceable beauty twines through the forests green,
her dress of purity, white and good.

The elfin happens upon a lonely knight,
long scarred from hunting wounds,
broken hearted and sorrowful.
Lost in the forest, the knight gave up,
alone and weary he sits on an old broken tree.

Singing to himself, the knight seeks comfort.

"Find me here, where the flowers grow for I lay my head,
alas this may be my last sleep."

Elfin girl hears his song, a mourn, lament.
She follows the dying of his voice, to where, indeed, he lay.
No flowers grow, for he has not passed.

She leans down to where he lay, still, like a memory,
she lifts his head onto her lap, the elfin sings to the knight.

"With a song, you sing, help comes in my form, dear knight.
I'll do all I can for you, I fear I may not help..."

The elfin toils with charms and potions,
at last she kisses he goodnight.

His voice rings through the forest, as she turned to leave.

"Oh elfin beauty, I have not woken, for I must be dreaming.
Ne'er have I seen such radience afore, your light outshines the night
sky stars, elfin, am I dead?"

The elfin smiled, and slipped away into the forests again,
leaving the knight alone, again.

"Fleeting is the time we win, and glancing are the blows,
now elfin magick heals my broken skin, but my broken heart remains.
Oh elfin beauty, ne'er leave me, pray do I to you sweet elfin,
come to me, we'll make a home of these green woods if only you'll return,
my horse I'll unbridal and let him roam free. I pray elfin, come back to me."

The elfin turned, her heart stirred in her chest at this,
the knight's pledge warmed her soul.
"Oh warrior, know that I have lived a long hard time, I picked you up
from your deathbed here, I made you elfin with my kiss,
just so I could be with you knight, you will never die, I saved you this
forever spend your time beside me, we'll lay forever under the trees and stars
together bathe in the stream, your armour shining in the morning sun as I,
in white dance through the forest, come now elf-knight, dance with me."

Reviews

[Pakino]

No offense but this reminded me of a typical Indian Movie. I am sure you are doing this on purpose by hiding the Elfin girl's name but it is getting to repetitive. The dialogue is good but still I aim not to impressed. If it turns out better sure I will check the other parts. Let me know if you plan on changing the outcome of the story.

[M. L. Chesley]

I don't know much about poetry, but I know what I like. I saw a couple of spelling errors, but not sure about punctuation in most poetry, so can't comment on that.
Personally, I like it. I don't think it is repetitive, I don't think it's typical. Poetry isn't for everyone, but like everything else, it must tell a good story. I think this is the beginning of a very good story. :D