Bathroom

Bathroom

By Sarah Kirby

I am back home 

I struggled so much when I was away

i felt ashamed I didn’t bring anything back

Nothing worth meaning

Pointless gibberish 

Until I went into my old bathroom

Emotions overwhelming within

I felt sad

Every time I came in here

Was to get away 

from everything behind the door

Now, I want to be anywhere else

But here

Here is where

I cried after having a hard day

Hated myself for irrelevant things

Judged the person standing in the mirror

Engraved lines into my skin

All for a reason that only gives me pain

I feel because I care too much

I didn’t care for attention nor likes

I didn’t think of all the people that did me wrong

I felt no guilt or shame

The reason why

I sat there 

And cried while under warm water

And glared at my reflection 

And scarred my skin 

Was to allow my mind to attack my body

Tears were to comfort 

Judgment was to expose

cuts gave my emotions ways to breathe 

From inside my body

This bathroom gave me a safe place

A sad little place

To hurt myself a little more

Than what my mind already does to me

Author's Note

I'm in my first year of college and I'm and struggling to maintain good enough grades. I am back home for the weekend and I've been carrying weight from college and now also being overwhelmed with emotions I left behind here at home. I need help, I'm getting help, but my mindset is extremely vulnerable now. thanks for reading. i hope all your struggles don't weigh you down too much, and that you'll soon find your purpose.

Reviews

[angel]

All the best to you, my dear. Don't let the pressure get to you. I know that is easy to say, but in realizing that you need help and in taking steps to get it, you are halfway there.
Try to stay positive. My heart aches for you and I wish I could give you a hug.
I said that recently to another young lady, and just imagined giving her a hug...I imagine it again now. Imagine it with me, and I do hope it helps a little.
May you have the peace that surpasses all human understanding(Philippians 4:7)