Circles - Chapter 4

Chapter 4

 

 

 

Robert slipped into the shower. It was hot and relaxing.  He felt the tenseness ebbing slowly out of his tired limbs. Thankfully, his sprained ankle was feeling a lot better.

        Strolling back through to the bedroom, he turned on the tape. Soft soul music echoed throughout the room as Alexander O’Neal sang his moving rendition of ‘If You Were Here Tonight’.

        He dabbed at his slight frame with a towel.  His mind strayed and again he found Stella Bridewell creeping into his thoughts.

        They had got on so well. On the four times they had lunched together, they had become closer and closer. He still could not get his head around her disappearance on the night of Belinda’s party.

        His mind had worked overtime. Ridiculous images of Ken and Stella had troubled him that night and the next day.

        He had called Stella the following Monday and arranged a lunch date. When she had explained her departure from the party, he had believed her. She swore she had looked for him. It was what he wanted to hear, besides Robert had to admit, he had spent a long time with Belinda instead of insisting of staying with her.  They had finished their lunch cheerfully and his jealousy had faded. 

        It had taken an act of pure chance to reveal the truth to him. One of his friends had asked if he knew the name of the girl Ken was seeing. When Graham had finished his description, Robert had felt like throwing up! Everything was finally plain to see. Now he could understand why she had been offering him excuses when he had phoned recently.

 

 

 

Stella sat watching the TV silently. Images flickered briefly across the screen. She rose up and turned it off. She was too restless and somehow couldn’t concentrate on the programme. 

        Fixing herself a drink, she returned to the pine rocker and sipped the coffee. She picked up the cigarette packet, removed one and struck a match. As she blew out the smoke thoughtfully, Stella knew what was bothering her. All along she had known that Ken had been lying to her; yet she had ignored the warnings and accepted his lies. Now she felt like a first class idiot.

 

        Their first date had been fun. They had enjoyed themselves, laughing and joking until the pub closed. When he had suggested moving on to a nightclub, she had happily agreed. They had gone to ‘Shaft’s’ and danced the night away. Before the night was over, Stella had known that they would end up in bed together. And they had!

        The sex between them hadn’t been great, but Stella had realized long ago that men and women looked for different things from sex.

        In her own way, she was usually satisfied knowing that she had succeeded in getting the man into bed. The conquest achieved, either something great happened, or nothing, in which case she would make the appropriate oohs and aahs, complimenting the man on his expertise. With Ken it had definitely been the latter. She had not expected or demanded any commitment from him.

        Since then they had been out only once. Ken had phoned; he’d promised to take her out again, but always seemed to find some excuse to postpone. Even then, she had known there was no chance of anything serious between her and Ken developing. Yet the fact that he didn’t seem infatuated by her had niggled her. She wanted to get the upper hand, to get him running after her.

        When they had eventually gone out; Robert had been with them. He had not realized his best friend (Stella laughed at that) had already slept with her!

        Ken had told her it was best Robert knew nothing. That had suited her fine. Although she was seeing Ken, she had to admit she rather liked Robert and didn’t want to end her friendship with him.

        The trio had met at ‘The Duke’, and the unsuspecting Robert had bought every round at the expensive cocktail lounge.   Not once had Ken even hinted at going into his wallet, and when she had offered to buy a round, Robert had dismissed her as though offended by the very thought of her paying for his drink.

        Stella got up and lit another cigarette. Robert was strange she thought on reflection. He had turned up at ‘The Duke’ sporting a heavy limp. Yet he refused to miss the party despite the obvious pain he was in.

        When they had arrived at Rendezvous, Robert had paid the £20 taxi fare. He seemed quite popular. The club-owner had welcomed him, and all three had been admitted without paying. Then that girl Belinda had quickly grabbed him away. Even as he had hobbled away, Stella noticed that he had slipped Ken some money for drinks. It was then that Stella saw why Ken stuck close by Robert; everything that night had been at Robert’s expense. 

        With his sprained ankle, Robert had been unable to dance, and had seemed unconcerned to let his ‘best friend’ entertain the object of his desire.

        Stella stubbed out the cigarette and took another mouthful of coffee. She wondered what Robert would have done if he had known how the night would finish?

        Whilst in the club, Stella had felt like openly flirting with Ken. She had wanted to see what the effect would have on him. Ken obviously didn’t want his friend to find out that they had slept together. Every time she had moved close to him or tried to get him excited, Ken had brushed her quickly away.

        The evening had ended when the snotty speaking girl who had been trying to chat Robert up all night without success, invited him to another party. Of course he had insisted that Stella and Ken come along. The girl had reluctantly agreed, but glared at Stella as Robert had taken her hand. Stella had noticed Ken taking in the girl‘s massive breasts.

        The party had turned out to be a disaster, full of drunken, rich young students with loud rock music blaring out at a deafening level. Robert had apologised to them both and suggested they leave. He had hobbled to a call box to order a taxi for the three of them. As soon as he had left for the phone-box, she and Ken had slipped out, back to her flat.

        Now Stella realized what a big mistake she had made. Yesterday whilst walking through Cornmarket, she had seen Ken arm-in-arm with a young white woman. The woman had been pushing a mixed-race child in a pushchair. Stella had quickly realised that the boy was Ken’s son.

        She had done it again. She had gone out with him because he looked wilder and more exciting than Robert; of course now she could see that she had been just another quick f**k for him. Once he had got what he wanted, she had been of no more interest to him. Robert had doted on her, was such a safe proposition, yet she had passed him over for that little b*****d Ken.

        Wearily, she got up from the chair and turned on the stereo. Joni Mitchell strummed her guitar and filled the room with folk music.

        They had been on three or four lunch dates, which she had enjoyed, but made sure went no further. Ken had made it clear to her not to tell him that they were seeing each other. Robert had persisted for a short while, even taking her out to apologise a few days after the party.   Then suddenly, he had stopped phoning her at work. She couldn’t blame him.   

        Stella had to admit she missed his calls. They thought alike really, and he had the ability to make her feel so relaxed. The luncheons they had shared had been great. Robert had always taken her to an expensive place and refused her offer to share the bill. She had always returned to the office in a good mood after lunch with Robert.

        In the background, Joni Mitchell had begun to sing ‘Big Yellow Taxi’. Stella lit yet another cigarette, flopped back and listened to the words of her favourite song.

        “You don’t know what you’ve got till its gone..“ sang Joni.

        Stella rose from the rocker. She opened the small drawer of the dresser. There it was; the slip of paper he had given her. Stubbing out the cigarette, she made up her mind. She took the piece of paper and placed it in her pocket. Bending down, she looked in the mirror and brushed her hair. Satisfied she looked okay, she dabbed on a little perfume. Biting her lip, she paused for a moment then picked up her bag, grabbed a coat and left the flat.

 

 

 

Robert zipped up the jeans and took a cigarette from the packet on the dresser. It still hurt. He hadn’t seen Ken for a couple of days now. The little b*****d was probably hiding from him, afraid he had been found out.

        Lighting the cigarette, he walked across the room and turned the tape up. Appropriate record he thought. Teddy Pendergrass sang ‘The Whole Town’s Laughing At Me,’ with such feeling.

        Why hadn’t she told him she fancied Ken? He had treated her so well, so virginal. He had opened up to her, told her secrets other women would never have prised out of him.

        Robert stared into the mirror. He was twenty-six years old, but could easily pass for a younger man. Although he was not heavily muscled, he was certainly no skinnier than Ken. In fact most people who saw them together mistook them for brothers. The Italian barber who had cornered the black market in Oxford cut their hair in the same short style. What had she seen in Ken that he didn’t have?

        He turned from the mirror and pulled on the cigarette, then looked up at the wall. The huge picture of his daughter hung over his bed, her beautiful face captured in a wide impish grin. Robert paused to study her, to remind himself of the good times they had shared together.

        He missed his daughter so much. He hadn’t seen her for three years now, yet he would never get over her absence. Since the messy break-up from her mother, Robert had sworn to himself never to get involved again. It wasn’t worth the pain.

        Robert lay down on the bed. For over two years he had avoided any serious involvement with women. He had slept with them only if they had accepted his simple terms - no emotional attachment. Soon even that had proved unfulfilling. There had to be something more than just a brief fusion of bodies in a frenzied, uncommitted physical act.

        Only on one previous occasion had he actually fallen for someone. He thought back to the pretty, young German student he had met in the University Parks the previous year.  Anna Kruger was a German with a sense of humour and love of black music. They had become instant friends and in the few weeks she had been in England, she had spent most nights in his flat. Both had made promises to keep the ‘relationship’ going despite national borders. He had visited her in Munich and spent enjoyable nights in the jazz club where her father played nightly, followed by parties on the Isar.

        Perhaps they could have made things work he thought. Despite the periods of separation, they had been extremely close. But when Anna had been offered a scholarship to Stanford University in California, Robert had realized that she would have another three or four years studying ahead. In that time she would mature, develop and the chances of them remaining lovers were remote. So he had not continued to pursue her.

        Robert stubbed out the cigarette. He had decided to wait patiently until the right woman came along. When he had first set eyes on Stella Bridewell, he had been sure his future lay with her. The old expression ‘love at first sight’, he reminded himself. After talking to her, he realized she was everything he had been looking for. Now he knew he was destined for another period of loneliness.

        Returning from his thoughts, he twisted opened the bottle of Gordon’s. He’d have a couple, then go to the pub and get steamed. He had to get out of this melancholy mood. It was pointless staying in, listening to tormenting music, feeling sorry for himself; he had to surround himself with people. He had to forget Stella.

        He tipped the glass back and emptied it in one go. He was reaching to pour another, when the doorbell rang. Robert slowly raised himself from the chair and opened the door.

 

 

 

Stella rang the bell and turned to watch the taxi pull away from the kerb. Across the road, two drunken students dressed in smart dinner suits stopped to relieve themselves. The hot urine splattered against the wall, mixed with the cold night air and steam rose as it ran towards the gutter. Stella pulled her coat tighter to her body.

        Robert opened the door as she spun around to face him.

        “Can I come in please?” she whispered cagily.

        The shock of seeing her had temporarily stunned him. He continued to stare at her.

        “Sure,” he replied opening the door for her to enter.

        As she stepped inside, she put her hands to her mouth and bit nervously at the nails.

        “Straight through,” Robert pointed, recovering from his start. Stella walked slowly, crossed into the living room and removed her coat.

        “I’ll take that for you,” he said, his voice now full of strength. He reached out for the coat and motioned for his guest to sit.

        “I had to talk to you,” Stella uttered, settling into the armchair.

        Robert hung the coat on a hanger and turned to face her. He watched as she opened her bag and fished out a packet of cigarettes and box of matches.

        “Something to do with Ken?” he said sardonically. His eyes travelled over her body. She was wearing the same pants she had worn the first time he had seen her he noticed.

        Stella noted the tone of his voice. She knew that this was going to be tough. Lighting a cigarette, she offered the packet to Robert. He shook his head.

        “Yes, but not just that.....”

        “Might as well start there. It’s as good a place as any,” Robert interrupted.

        Stella took a long pull on the cigarette. She gazed around the room. It was obviously a bachelor’s flat. A pair of Athena prints graced the wall. She noted a few authors - Ed McBain, Dick Francis, Tolkein and Emily Dickerson - on the bookcase which ran along the room. The colour TV and hi-fi system were the centre of attention. The two armchairs matched, but had seen better days. The only other item of furniture was a glass coffee table. The room was basic, but she felt strangely at home in it.

        “Why didn’t you tell me you were seeing Ken?” she heard him ask. She put her hand to her lips and began chewing at her nails.   God, why had she come?

        “Not doing much talking,” he said with contempt.

        “If you give me a chance, I’ll explain it all,” she said gingerly.

        Robert picked up a cigarette and struck a match. He blew it out angrily and waited for her answer.

        “I’m sorry for what I did. I knew you liked me and I knew Ken was wrong for me. I knew we had nothing in common. I suppose that’s why. I just didn’t want to get into anything serious.”

        Robert laughed. “So that explains it all?”

        “Look, I came her to apologize. I wanted you to understand. I realize I was a fool... ”     

        “I think I was the fool!” he interrupted. “I took you out to lunch; take you both out. I pick up all the bills, and you sneak off and go f*****g behind my back! I think I was the fool,” his voice strained to control his anger. “Sorry Robert, but I fancy Ken. It’s easy to say,” he continued.

        Stella reached for the ashtray and dropped the cigarette. The thin wisp of smoke spiralled upwards. She returned her finger to her mouth and bit.

        He glared at her; his nostrils wide open in rage. “For f***s sake. If you just wanted a screw you only had to say so! I would have left you both to it! I’m not a child. I’m not looking for a quick f**k. I would have realized not to waste my time. I can get a screw whenever I want.  I don’t take slags out - I just f**k them!” 

        “I’m not a slag! Do you want me to go?” she offered, finally looking directly at him.

        Robert dropped into the empty armchair. “I just can’t understand it. What did I do wrong?” he asked her, his voice once again lowered.

        “Nothing. It’s just that you seemed so easy. All I had to do was, well, get talking to you and....”

        “So because I didn’t try to get you into bed straight away, you decided on Ken?” he said sarcastically.

        “If that’s what you want to think, yes!” Stella said angrily. Why should she defend herself? She was no tart. If he didn’t like, or accept the truth, then her visit had been wasted. “Ken looked hard to get. He seemed like a challenge, nothing more. I made a mistake, but fucked if I owe it to you to say I’m sorry. You’re not my boyfriend and I’ didn’t ask you to spend your money on me!” She stood up angrily. “I’d better have my coat!”

        The little outburst had surprised Robert. Even during his angriest moments he still longed for her. The ferocity of her attack had shaken him. He shook his head. What had he got himself into? He didn’t need this.

        He looked up and studied Stella. She had snapped her bag shut and stood directly in front of him.

        “Sit down,” he said quietly.

        She cocked her head and gave him an uneasy look.

        “Please sit down.”

        Slowly Stella lowered herself into the chair. For a while the silence remained, neither daring to break it for fear of saying the wrong thing.

        “Do you have any idea of what I thought of you?” he asked

        “I know, and I’m sorry. I guess that’s why I had to come and see you. I know that I was supposed to have been with you.”

        She moved from the chair, knelt in front of him and kissed him. Her lips were soft and warm, but he tried not to react. Undeterred, Stella placed her arms around his neck and kissed him again; longer and harder.

        “I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll make it up to you,” she said and kissed him again.

        Robert found her breasts. He lifted her sweater and touched her smooth, soft skin. He heard her gasp as he fondled her n****e.

        Stella winced as the tingling began. She bit his neck and whispered gently into his ear, “Make me sorry, make me.”

        Robert broke off from her embrace and led her into the bedroom.

        He pushed the PLAY button on the cassette and tugged the tee shirt over his shoulders.

        Stella sat on the bed and watched as he bent down and raised the sweater above her head. The small firm breasts sprang free as his mouth descended on them hungrily. Stella closed her eyes and fell back on the bed.

        In the background Astrud Gilberto and Stan Getz performed ‘The Girl From Ipanema’.

 

 

 

 

The first time he took her was purely an act of revenge. Robert tore roughly between her legs with no thoughts to Stella’s needs or feelings. His mind filled with images of Ken and Stella that refused to leave even as he reached a noiseless climax.

        Tears trickled down Stella’s cheeks whilst she endured his beastlike rutting in silence. As he finished, Robert rolled off her and lay on his back.

        Stella looked across at him through the tears. She felt like a soiled, cheap w***e. She wondered if now that he had exacted his revenge, he would dismiss her.

        “Say something,” she murmured. “Tell me what you feel.”

        Robert returned her look. All his anger spent, he reached across and licked the salty tears from her face. Slender fingers teased, aroused every part of her body. He sucked softly at her breasts.

        Stella bit her lip to prevent herself screaming out in ecstasy as her n*****s tingled with excitement. When his hand slowly parted her legs, she found herself soaking wet. She closed her eyes as she felt him inside her again. Her arched back thrust upwards as she met his long, deep strokes as gently he brought her to a shuddering orgasm.

        Robert lit two cigarettes and passed one to Stella. She raised her head from his chest and took it from his fingers.

        “You don’t know how much I wanted you,” he whispered, shaking his head.

        “Yes I do. You’ve just shown me” she kissed him softly and returned her head to his chest.

        She gazed up at him and tenderly traced a finger down his face. Little beads of sweat moistened her finger. Why had she gone off with Ken? Robert was in a different league. She knew the man alongside really did love her. He had just proved it. All his feelings had been revealed to her in those few brief minutes. She hoped to God he wouldn’t send her away now. For the first time in her life, Stella really felt she had found love.

        The tape clicked off. Robert flung back the duvet and walked over to the machine. He bent down to select a tape. Stella watched his wiry body, aware of a return of the wetness between her legs.

        “Anything you’d like?” he asked peering over his shoulder.

        “I’m easy,” Stella replied. She leant across the bed and stubbed out the cigarette in the ashtray.

        “I think I know that,” he joked.

“Piss off,” she said picking up the pillow and flinging it at him.

        Robert deflected it easily. Deciding on Marvin Gaye, he inserted the tape, snapped the machine shut and pressed the PLAY button.

        “Like something to drink?”

        “Mmmm,” Stella purred.

        “It’ll have to be gin and bitter lemon or coffee. That’s all I’ve got.”

        “Gin and lemon’s fine,” she called as he made his exit to the living room.

        Stella stared around the bedroom. Like the main living room it lacked a woman’s touch. Two large pictures of American football players hung on opposite walls. Above the stripped pine dresser was a poster depicting a scene from Tolkein’s Lord Of The Rings.

        Her eyes continued to take in the room. The portable colour television rested on a small table. Next to it was a picture of a pretty young half-caste girl. The only other pieces of furniture were the wardrobe and small armchair in the far corner. Once again Stella found herself at ease in the room. Robert returned with two glasses and passed her one.

        “Ta,” Stella said, and took a sip of the refreshing liquid. She lowered the glass from her mouth. 

        “Who’s that girl?” she asked pointing to the huge canvas picture hanging above the bed.

        “My daughter,” he replied simply.

        Stella sat up in the bed and looked across at him. “I didn’t know you had a daughter.”

        Robert took a swig of his drink and shrugged his shoulders. “I’ve got two daughters,” he said, casually pointing to the small picture next to the portable TV. “They are both with their mothers. I haven’t seen either of them for years.”

        Stella peered harder at the small picture, and then compared the large canvas above her head. Although at first glance they seemed identical, she could now see they were two different children.

        While fascinated by this unexpected discovery, Stella knew it was not wise to probe him any further on the matter. His tone had told her he was not in the mood to offer any explanations - at least not at present.

        The frosty silence lasted a few minutes. Outside the window a car horn blared, followed by the screech of tyres.

        “Are you staying the night?” Robert asked quietly.

        Stella was caught out by the unexpected question. She decided to let him answer it. “Would you like me to?”

        He glanced at her. She needed no words to tell her. She gave him her glass. When he had placed it on the table, Stella leant over and kissed each of his n*****s in turn.

        Robert took her hand and guided it down his body, until she found his erection.

 

 

 

Robert clambered out of the bed and moved silently to the bathroom. He watched as Stella soaped herself, unaware of his presence.

        He still couldn’t get over her body. Even though her breasts were small and she didn’t have long legs, she undoubtedly possessed a magnificent body. She was beautiful. Her skin was so soft. He eyed her buttocks, there was not an ounce of fat on her. Her 5’ 5” fame was firm and lithe.

        Stella noticed him in the doorway as she reached for the towel.

        “And a voyeur too!” she laughed.

        “It’s not every day I get to see someone as beautiful as you, naked in my shower!”

        Stella blushed slightly at the compliment. Taking the towel, she started to dry herself, conscious of his lecherous looks. Robert made a move towards her.

        “Not now. The taxi will be here soon,” she said, regretting the fact that she had to go into the office this morning.

        He raised his arm in a gesture of surrender. “Would you like some coffee and toast?”

        “Mmmm, love some,” she dropped the towel and hugged him tightly. Her wet skin pressed against his warm, naked body.

        “Go now before I lose my job.” she said and drew away from his arms.

 

 

 

When the taxi rang, Stella polished off her toast and coffee.

        “Can I come round tonight?” she asked tentatively as she put the dishes into the sink.

        “If you want to,” said Robert, not committing himself.

        Stella picked up her bag. She stood up and kissed him. “I’ll see you later then,” she smiled. She snatched her coat and went out the door. Robert watched her get into the taxi, waving as the driver pulled away. Her eyes shone with joy.

        Robert closed the door and went to the bathroom. As soon as he entered, he saw the message written in lipstick on the mirror.

 

 

ROBERT,

I KNOW YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME YET, BUT I LOVE YOU! PLEASE, PLEASE GIVE ME A CHANCE TO SHOW YOU!!!!!!

ALL MY LOVE

STELLA

Xxxxxx

 

 

The Sporting Life arrived through the letterbox. Robert picked it up and opened it to the day’s cards. He flitted quickly through the pages, but somehow couldn’t summon up any enthusiasm for what had become a daily ritual. He was too tired to study form now. Stella had been so good they hadn’t slept all night.

        He tossed the paper on the floor and lay back in the bed. Sleep wouldn’t come. She was still occupying his thoughts and refused to give him peace. What the hell was he going to do? He didn’t want a superficial relationship, and after the disastrous start, how could this turn into anything serious or lasting? No it would never work.

        Angrily, he thumped the pillow and turned over again. Stella was only nineteen. She was sensible and mature - but she still hadn’t lived. She wanted fun and excitement (as the episode with Ken had shown); to experience life for herself. She had a job and a career she wanted to pursue.

        As for himself, all he wanted was to settle down with someone he loved for the rest of his life. Already he had wasted two good opportunities; he couldn’t afford to mess up again. This was his last chance.

        Turning in bed, Robert resigned himself to the fact that he couldn’t give her up. Whatever reservations he had, he loved the woman.

        Her perfume lingered on the pillow, and he imagined her body as his eyes finally closed.

Reviews

[A LaDy NaMeD D]

I wonder what trouble awaits the star crossed lovers? I like how you used elements in this chapter, and story that some writers haven't. Like the use of musical artist to set the mood. If you're old enough to know who teddy pendagrass, and marvine gaye are (or in my case have parents who raised you on their music.) It within itself sets the tone. I can't wait to read more.