My Crystal Face

Young girl has to adapt a false story to hide behind for the world to accept her but she desperately wants someone to confide in.

MY CRISTAL FACE

 

You don't know who I am, yet you’ve seen me all your life

You don't know what made me, though it was by your own hand

You don't see past that crystal face I put on display, still you know it’s not me

You don't catch the drift I blow your way, just read between the lines

 

You see the curves and the laugh rather than the scars and the scream building up inside

You don't look into my dry eyes and see my past

I hand you the key, but you don't look for the lock

I tell you a lie and apparently, I tell it too well for you don't ask again

You don't look past this glass surface, cup your hands and forget the reflection

 

My heart like ice cracked and cold

The color slowly drips out as it turns to stone

The blood stops pumping and my memory fades

Every day now like the one before, an endless gray

 

You say time resolves all things, but perhaps you mean death

I paint my crystal face with neon colors and were it on display, yet you fail to see me still

Too occupied with yourself as I sit in the background waiting for help

 

My I'm strong charade pushes you away

So, I change my game for a weaker face

Praying for you to see yet still you stay blind to me

So, then I say should I bleed you will be forced to see

Yet the blood I spill is to no avail, all in vain

 

So long I've worn this mask, I'm now unsure if there's anything even left beneath, perhaps it’s now a part of me

Should I peal it off surely only to find a rotten, bloody, fleshy mess

As all the cuts and all the blows seeped through the surface left unknown

Pooling underneath unseen, untended as they bleed

 

Yet still I soldier on tempted to the grave but hoping for an escape

Wishing for an affectionate touch an understanding hug

I don't need the romance rather the support

Give me one that sees through my facade who won't walk away

Someone not pushy but curious unto death who’ll see through my lies

One who will tend these wounds you left and lift me in my blue's

Stronger than myself for my strength is part of the act

 

But perhaps that's too selfish a request

After all I've hid I'm certain if you knew: I'd find half in an asylum and the other in jail

Then where would I be and what would be the point

 

So here I sit seen yet all alone

Too afraid to make a move less it be too drastic in either direction,

Scared of what I might loose

 

Here I wait like a ghost watching as all the faces change and fade with time

Hoping for you to decide my fate.