An Open Letter . . .

Nov. 7th, 2003 - If only the last line had come true . . .

I was cold
Like ice on the sidewalk
I was alone
Like a dove over the bay
I was scared
Like a child without a home
I was sad
Like mourners on a rainy Sunday morning

I had had enough
And in my anguish
I climbed the tallest radio tower
And from between two flashing red lights
I screamed
Issuing forth my prayer
My last hope
I asked of the Moon
The stars
The very universe itself

"Beauty . . . Come to me!!!"

And you did.
I saw you that night.
Through plate glass.
Under florensent lights.
You also, tired
But not alone.
You could never be mine
As long as he was yours.

But funny is Life
In the way it grants your wishes.
Allowing me your ears to speak to
And your eyes to look into
And you attention to play to
And so you saw me
And still do see me
For what I am
And that scares me
Because it is all I wanted

As it was to be
After all our talks
And passion and lust
I remain by myself
With you just at my side
Not as my life

Oh, I know I can never make you love me
I can't even make my own bed
And I know one can never be owned
Like no one can ever love and live forever
Neither is what I really want, truely
But I can hope for this at least

And before I can have this
There are so many things
I need to confess
Not just my love for you
Or my dreams of you in my sleep
But the facts that I hide in my heart
Between my ribs
Inside my soul

But those demons fear you
Fear you more than Death itself
For with you, I win their war
I send them away
Back to the cracks in Hell from where they came

And with you, Angels sing to me
With you I feel alive
And whole
And unafraid
Even if I am just a friend
A plaything or rest stop on your road
Through your life
I'm glad that I have you now
Just as you are
Just we are
For whatever it is
It is better than what I didn't have before

And I wish I could tell you this
Confess before friend and foe
All these things inside my heart
My dreams and fears
To scream now
Before all . . .

"Beauty has come unto me!!!"

And the truth is
I can not
So I write it all down on ink stained paper
Like a tear soaked shirt
Or sweat soaked sheets
As my plan to send this letter out to you
But I know I never will

I'll only crumple this paper in its envolope
And pray for the best
And hope fore the best
And wish that someday
You'll feel like I do new
And Love and Live forever
With me and you and I
In each others arms
If nowhere else

Reviews

[the wretched]

wow, i really like this one. as i read it i could visualize it. it made me feel a very strong sense of sadness and pain. visualizing screaming from the radio tower gave me an adrenaline rush...lol. very well written. kudos