B.U.F.F.E.T.

   I just got back from the Buffet, (Big Ugly Fat Farts Eating Together) I got here yesterday and I have to deliver about twenty miles from here in the morning, so we're taking today off at the local Flying J. ("We," being my cat "Reese" and I) Remember when there were such places as "Truck Stops"
That was before the days of "Travel Centres" and "Stopping Plazas."
   This morning I got up and checked in with my friends, then I went in to have breakfast. There were three bus loads of people (Frogs really, but for the sake of argument I'll call them people) After waiting about .75 hour they starting leaving to board their busses to parts unknown, and I was able to find a seat in the restaurant. The waitress seemed happy to see me, or anyone who spoke English for that matter, it seems that three bus loads of non-English speakers from Montreal arrived at 07:30 for breakfast without so much as calling ahead.
   I breakfasted from the barfette and retreated to my truck and awaiting Kitty to post some humor, or reasonable facsimile thereof. Am I rambling?
   Sometime around 15:30 I decided to go graze at the barfette again. The waitress was still talking about how rude the morning crowd had been. I asked her if she knew the difference between a toilet seat and a waitress, she glared at me for a second and I told her a toilet seat only serves one a*s at a time. A smile came to her slowly.
   The barfette wasn't bad, I was glad I brought my Ka-Bar with me, there was a roast of beast at the barfette with no carving implement, I glanced around and saw no-one waiting with sharp instrument in hand, so I whipped out my trusty Ka-Bar and started carving. Other people seemed happy to get some beast, so I whittled off a few slices for everyone who stood with plate in hand. The manager arrived with carving knife in hand and offered to take over, I said I had it under control, he said my knife wasn't suitable, I told him I got my first two kills with a Ka-Bar and yes it had been washed since the war. Besides I was going to need it for the stuffing. When I got done carving he took the roast of beast and scurried off to the kitchen. The waitress was about to wet her pants. (I think I was going somewhere with this when I started.) Needless to say we all had a good time at the trough while it lasted. If I remember what my point was I'll ramble on somemore later.
 

Reviews

[JC]

Ok, I wished I had read this first.... I am with the waitress, so let me go change my pants.


Absolutely the best humor I've read in a really long time.

JC

[RaindropsRoses93]

hahaha I love the buffet myself

[mrowepat]

"first two kills, and yes it's been washed since the war," and you "needed it to cut the stuffing"... Bahahahhhhahhahah!!! Pure comedic genius!!! Man, I almost fell outa my chair!!!

This piece could be cleaned up a bit, to give it more flow and to make it a bit less confusing, but hilarious nonetheless!!!