Together

Together

He was 28, and she fourteen. The only bond they shared lay across their wrists; a golden cuff; that was what linked the two together.

They weren't friends, nor were they lovers. They weren't family, but they weren't strangers either. The man and the girl knew each other, but not very well.

She was pretty; big, round eyes, long, black hair, and a long scar across her brow line. He was handsome; clean-shaven, blond hair, and a pair of dark sunglasses. The two were dressed in formal attire, and handcuffed together.

Three other men appeared - Their pursuers. The man and the girl exchanged glances, and without a word, they fled. He took big steps. It took everything she had for the girl to keep from being dragged along. Not once did the trio ever lose sight.

The cityscape became a dull-grey blur, lightly speckled with color. The girl's heel broke; she collapsed. The man looked backward, one of the pursuers had a gun. The girl was crying. The man pleaded for her to stand. She ran alongside him barefoot.

Shots whizzed past the man and girl. They both knew they couldn't stop, stopping meant death. They had to lose them.

The man ducked into an alleyway, the girl was jerked around behind him. They had almost reached safety... almost. The man and girl were halfway up the fire-scape before they were spotted.

The armed men began to follow them up.

All five were on the rooftop. The man and the girl were cornered. They had lost.

The man and girl exchanged glances, and shot another backwards. Their pursuers were grinning.

With their cuffed hands interlocked, the man and the girl fell backwards -

together.

Author's Note

I know it's a little bare-bonesy, but that's the point. I want to know what you get from it.

Reviews

[Jessie<3]

There is a theme to this story, there is a feeling, an emotion. Disregard it wasn't a complete story.

It was the emotion that I felt from reading this. Their last moment alive, the last person they looked at was one another, the last glance they shared together, they didn't know each other,but when they died, they knew that they were not alone, and that feeling to know that when they die they were not alone.

Another thing I got from it, correct me if I'm wrong, but the man wanted to save himself, but because he was cuffed with the girl he felt the need to protect her as well. Whether it be because she was so young, or so he wouldn't have to carry around her dead weight. He wanted to protect her whichever it may have been.

[Radical Dreamer]

It is the skeleton of a piece, very raw. I like the idea of two people being handcuffed but it does open a lot of questions (im sure that was the point of you posting this up) of how and why they are together. The dynamics of the charactes has potential to work because it is intriguing as you described:

He was 28, and she fourteen. The only bond they shared lay across their wrists; a golden cuff; that was what linked the two together.They weren't friends, nor were they lovers. They weren't family, but they weren't strangers either. The man and the girl knew each other, but not very well.

Has the basis to become an interesting story but hopefully the handcuffs are not the only interesting thing in the tale. My suggestion is add one extreme polarity to the characters, someting they could discuss as they run. Or maybe have them think differently, I saw a play called "Lost" here in L.A. and two characters were in a car but you could instantly see the differences between them both in physical and mental ways. It was fun seeing how they discussed things and the conclusions they arose about the world and life. Maybe you could do something like that =).

[Dustin Chang]

Plays out like a scene from a movie but it's not really a complete story, not that it should be. Makes me want to read more.

[siobhan]

i get this piece. theres some gaps--maybe questions that are left open, but because of that i can wonder. this story is short and simmple with a good grasp of action put in. i really enjoyed it.