A Romance without End, Apparently

Restored from Writers Café, 2006

A Romance without End, Apparently

 

Once upon a time there was a cur-ugly man named Frank.  For a long time, Frank had lived with his wife and two children, but one day, unfortunate events drove Frank and his wife apart, and they divorced, a rare occurrence around those parts. The children were granted to the wife, and the three disappeared into the country wilderness. It was depressing around Frank’s dirty house for some time, but eventually things turned more cheerful. Frank was never a wealthy man, but there was one extremely valuable thing that soon came into his life. Megan.

 

Frank met Megan on the edge of town while he was wandering aimlessly, looking for something to buy for himself, as a way to lift his spirits. His quest had been a failure, and he had started walking home, even more depressed than when he’d left this morning. But then, in no time at all, she was before him, glowing.

 

She was perfect. A product of flawless parents. She was young, but something told Frank there was a future behind those eyes. An extremely bright future. Frank couldn’t explain it, but at that moment a refreshing gush of vitality swam though him, and he knew he had found the one thing in his life that would make him happy again �" and keep him happy for some time. Megan had a body like he’d never seen before, and although he himself was no a prize of aesthetics, and she was technically even bigger then he was, Frank was not intimidated in the least. He was instantly obsessed.

 

Suddenly Frank’s mind was free of thoughts of buying a gift for himself �" this, if he could pull it off �" would be a more priceless treasure than any he could have found in some store. Custom dictated that he not be too forward, but instead try to catch her attention and make an early connection. Megan didn’t seem to be paying attention at first, so Frank decided to approach her courteously. But his nerves were fluttering, so he felt he had to rush out to get a drink. He couldn't forget that he was cur-ugly.

 

When he came back, warm and steady, Megan was still sitting there. He walked right up to her and introduced himself, trying to suppress the urge to be forward. Megan replied with her name and a greeting. Her voice was melodious and rhythmic, as if she was from a family of musical instruments. She seemed pleased at having been approached, and Frank even noticed a distinct smile, more clean and vibrant than any he’d ever come across, grinning up at him. She also mentioned that she was not from around here, and was not familiar with the people of the town, nor the goings-on of activity.

 

After a small, relaxed exchange, Frank took the step and asked if he could take her out on Saturday night. Megan was delighted, and the two agreed to meet in the same place on Saturday.

 

Frank ran home, giddy.

 

That Saturday, Frank took Megan around the town. It was a good-sized town, and there was plenty of activity to be had, although Frank seemed too nervous to get out of the car most of the time, and they ended up sharing conversations while riding along. Megan didn’t seem to mind; in fact, she appeared to enjoy the casual back-and-forth as they circled the city more than once, Frank pointing out all the places he’d frequented during his life here.

 

Everywhere they went, people stared. Passersby scratched their heads in amazement; they had rarely seen such a beauty as Megan laughing away with a hideous man as Frank, her gleaming eyes fixated on everything, high and low, as if she was a messenger from a foreign land, come to bring a sense of peace to the lives of the needy. Bystanders one and all made way for the pair, calling attention to their friends and to other strangers, waving and pointing as Frank and Megan posed before them, embarrassed at the unexpected attention. Jealousy was rampant already.

 

At the end of the thrilling day, Frank took the time and consideration to feed his companion, and she giggled. She had never had such personal attention in all her life, and her had never felt so redeemed and unique in all his. This night had convinced the two of them that this was right, this had all the trappings of a long-lasting relationship, one that could bring superior happiness to both, but also define their lives.

 

Their relationship progressed over the next few weeks, and Megan came home with Frank permanently. They went out on the town constantly, and every time they did, people would stop and stare. Frank couldn’t help but feel like he had accomplished something magnificent, having surpassed his friends and neighbors, done something that few else had done.

 

And soon it became apparent. There was no denying it. It was unavoidable. Frank was in love with Megan.

 

Well, because it was a decent-sized town, it was only a matter of time before others caught on, and within five years, dozens of other men were scouring the city in search of someone to surpass even the legendary Megan. Other Megans came through, more and more, and they were flashier and more beautiful. The men absolutely were helplessly in love with them and couldn’t live without them. If someone bumped into Megan, the men went berserk and got into vicious fights. They spent more and more money feeding Megan. They cared more for Megan than they did the rest of their families.

 

Then women starting buying Megan. They did the same thing �" money, feeding, fighting, etc. Everyone loved Megan more than anything else in the world. Global competition broke out over Megan. When Megan died, she didn’t get a burial but was shipped off, having been used up.

 

Megan got so expensive people changed their whole lives to afford her. The people whined and griped and voted for evil, EVIL leaders when Megan’s food source started to dry up, without ever ceasing their crusade to keep feeding Megan. Wars. Megan’s emissions tearing up the atmosphere, tearing it to bits. Megan, give us more Megan. Contests over the most Megan accessories. Skyrocketing thefts of Megan. We love Megan. Clogged streets and homes as people stuffed themselves with more and more Megan. Megan on the screen, Megan on the iPod. Megan, Megan everywhere. Megan, never-ending obsessed savage starvation for Megan. Kill, kill, kill for Megan. Megan as ants, poisonous ants and fleas, spreading with unholy velocity, across the Earth. Megan above all. Dog, DOG-ugly human species. Megan Megan Megan Megan Megan Megan