Questions

Was it too much to just love me, to be there when I needed you when I literally had no one else to run to when all I felt was tired and useless? When I questioned if anyone would even care if I ran away and never came back? Would you? Would you go after me and hold my hand and help me find my way back home? What if the only time I felt safe was when you looked at me? Just a simple glance, those brown eyes made me feel like I actually meant something to you. It made me feel exposed, as if you could see right through me when no one else ever could. On the inside, I'm scarred and scared. There's a voice inside me screaming for help, asking for a way out from this endless void of darkness and nothing. All I want is for someone to give me assurance and I thought you were my only hope. Why is this so hard for you? You told me that you're scared too. 

All of us, every single one of us are scared shitless of what the future has in hold for us. What if I wanted that with you? What if I wanted to be beside you when you were scared and trembling? Afraid to make your next move, afraid to take your next breath. Would you even care? Would you even do the same for me? Would you be there when I'm paralyzed and afraid to move on with my life? Would you try to stop me if I tried to take it all away? I'm terrified of my own mind, I feel like my mind is crushing from the pressure building on me for the last decade of my life. Well you know what? If it's not easy for you then what would make it any different for me? I can feel too, I can be hurt too, I don't have armor on top of armor to keep me safe from obstacles coming at me from different directions. 

You brought my hopes up and you pulled them back down only in a matter of days, a matter of minutes, within just a matter of seconds. How do you do what you do? How do you make someone feel so cherished and then ignore them like they don't even exist? I have a heart just like you do, I have two eyes, two ears, and a mouth that spoke nothing but good things about you. What things does your mouth tend to do when I'm too blind to even see with my own two eyes? What do you talk about when you're not talking about me? Do you even talk about me at all? Do your eyes move across the room whenever you see me? Do you even care? What do you think about at night? Do you think about how much I think about you? Do you think about how lonely I might be or how much pain I'm in? Or did you even notice? Maybe you're just like everyone else, maybe you just pretend like you care so that you can have another girl lined up to try and be the lucky one that you choose. Do you even choose anyone? Or do you just like to get them to the point where they feel like you're the only one they can depend on? I felt like that and I still do so what can I do? 

I'll just wait and wait until one day you'll forget that I even existed. I can't change your mind and I can't force you to try but at least I can still come up with questions that cross my mind everyday. Yes, questions, just questions.

Reviews

[Zoya]

You know, people can change anytime. It's better not be dependent on anyone, cause their life and actions are not in your hands. But what's in your hands is your own life, the way you want to live it. So cheer up, if this is whats happening, that one is not meant for you...why waste your time thinking about someone who doesn't really care for you. If this offends you, I'm sorry. These are just my opinions. Talking about the story, it was really intriguing. Many people can relate to it. I found the last two paragraphs quite relatable myself. I enjoyed reading it. Well done!

[Zoya]

You're right, that was necessary for you to learn a lesson. And you're most welcome!

[JoeM]

Wow, I guess some people do feel like this. I think I would be looking for a high cliff. Good writing, though.

[Ossicedia]

There's a lot of us that do
Thank you for the review

[Coyote Poetry]

Many kind of people in this world. Givers and takers. Each with different needs. We must be careful.
"You brought my hopes up and you pulled them back down only in a matter of days, a matter of minutes, within just a matter of seconds. How do you do what you do? How do you make someone feel so cherished and then ignore them like they don't even exist? "
I understand the above lines. Fake concern will brake our heart. I told my kids. Slow and easy into friendship and love. Thank you for sharing your words and thoughts.
Coyote

[Ossicedia]

I understand your point and find it very true
Thank you so much for the review Coyote!

[Coyote Poetry]

Was my pleasure and you are welcome.

[Richard simpson]

Very good work, it's deep and emotional, moving and great all at the same time. I love it and it tells people to stand up through the good or bad whether makes you happy or sad. I like it :)

[Ossicedia]

Thank you so much I'm so glad to hear that made my day :)

[Richard simpson]

You're most welcome and glad to make your day brighter