The Future of Advertising

Subliminal advertising out of control.

“Time to wake up and buy those Flatso shoes, Thelma.  The most comfortable footwear on Earth.”  I wake to the sound of the Flatso shoe commercial in my inner ears.  I've come to like the jingle.  All it takes is to give the company a call the day before, telling them what time I want up.  It beats that old-fashioned alarm clock.

Humming the catchy tune, I start my coffeemaker.  While it heats, the Shanka coffee commercial fills my mind, a snappy tune that helps me wake up.

As I dress for work, I hear a cacophony of whispers as my clothing tries to impress their own merits onto my brain.  I’m used to it, hearing them all day long.  On the way to work, my Flourd automobile reminds me that it needs an oil change.  In a few months, when the car is two-years-old, it'll begin reminding me to upgrade.  The music and message will become louder and more urgent until I comply.  A great safety feature.

I admit, I’m biased.  I work at the “Pretty Damned Good” advertising agency.  When the final surge of court cases were settled a few years ago, we went into high gear.  

We collect information from our customer’s minds -- unobtrusively and anonymously, of course.  Then send them only the commercials for products they prefer.  Why do they ever complain?  I wonder, as I recognize one of our own ads, for Pretty Patty Pantyhose.  We keep our customers informed about the latest products and services, saving them the effort of looking for themselves.   

Since they don’t have to spend time comparing products, we’re doing them a favor.  Our firm employs hundreds of experts, in many fields, to compare products and pass along only the best as ascertained by our own and independent laboratories partially owned by us.

***

“You want to look over these complaints that came in last night, Thelma?”  My boss gives me a short list.  It used to be almost a book a day.  

“Sure. Give me time to organize myself,” I tell her.  

I close myself up into a damper cubicle.  Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I prefer to cut out the commercials while I’m thinking.  I wish all our complaining clients could afford a booth.  It would make my job a lot simpler.  We sell the booths for $50,000 apiece.  If they don’t choose to spend the money, well ... they continue to receive our wonderful ads. 

“Let’s see now.” I read the first email on the list.  It’s from a man who doesn’t like the latest music.  He likes oldies from three years ago, for Christ’s sake. Doesn’t he know music changes?  We have only the latest hits, updated every hour.  Think of all the good musicians that would be out of work if people listened to the old stuff.  These days musical groups become rich, burn out, and make way for new ones in a week or two.  Sighing, I reach for stock reply 76-A.

I read a complaint from a man that tells me he browsed an Internet porno site for a few minutes, by mistake.  Oh, sure he did.  Now he gets all these erotic messages going through his head.  “So, he’s 97-years-old?  Hell, he should be flattered.” I laugh, sending him stock answer 34-C.

Another is from a woman who lost her child to cancer last month.  She says he’s dead and buried, why does she still receive mortuary ads?  Why indeed?  I call up the "Brain Works" and cancel her subscription to that ad.  Some of these complaints are legitimate.

Not like the next, where a man says he’s thinking about buying a Chleavy auto next time.  He wants the Flourd ad canceled in his head.   Something must be wrong with the ad.  It’s not coming through too well in his case.  We might have to send a technician to check out his cranial chip.  The  Chleavy corporation uses a rival advertising agency.

I’m still engrossed in answering complaints when I hear cursing from Mike Edward’s law division next door.  He comes storming out of his office and down the hall.

“What’s wrong, Mike?” I call to him as he passes my cubicle.

“Another damned hacker victory,” he tells me, face red. “We have to do something about that damn Federal Judge, John Evens.  He ruled that using one of those ‘Adaware’ programs was defined as legal.  Now hundreds, even thousands, will rush to buy the devices.”

Adaware is one of about a half-dozen anti-ad-implant manufacturers we’re suing.  They’re accused of hindering free enterprise by selling devices that block our advertising.  The clincher, in our defense, is that we provide many free services sponsored by our ads.

Our devices, inserted directly into a subject’s brain -- with their implied permission, of course -- saves many thousands of lives a year.  

When we first released the details, the invention had been lauded highly.  It includes a small electronic chip thingy with benefits like global positioning, free telephone service, provisions for emergency broadcasts directly into or from a subject’s mind.  Squeezing your nose hard will summon emergency services.  The device and operation are expensive, too much so for the government to buy for all citizens.  Or for many to buy on their own.

Our CEO mentioned that private industry could take up the cost ... if our customers allowed us to include a few unobtrusive advertisements into the mix.  At first, it was at the rate of about one every three hours, with elected officials getting free advertising.  Over the years, we've been forced into accepting more clients, meaning almost constant subliminal advertising.

Our bill passed almost unanimously.  

Since then, we’ve improved our services.  Phone calls and texts are filtered for information on what customers would like to buy.  That information is used to target ads to specific individuals.  Our large staff does pick out only the best products to proffer to our customers.  Our public relations experts are very good at seeing that the ads are effective, and our profits are huge.

“Now, in regard to anti-ad devices, we have to bother with the Court of Appeals, which we control.  It’s a royal pain in the a*s,” he tells me.  

And, he’s right.  We furnish our services for free, parents agreeing at birth.  If they find ways to avoid advertisements, it’s the same as stealing from us.  And the device is expensive to take out.  

The cheap anti-ad-devices are a real and growing threat, though.  Have it on your person and it emits a field that filters out advertising but allows the other services -- taking money out of our pockets.  Some people are afraid of us. I can’t figure that one out.  

Why, even wars are now obsolete.  We, and other companies world-wide, get together every week. We agree that destruction would be bad for business.  If any country prepares for war, we know it and send subliminal messages to its citizens to refuse to fight.  You can’t have a war if the populace rebels and soldiers ignore the order.

***  

Lunch time.  I stop at Mike’s office on my way out.

“Come on.  It isn’t all that bad.  I’ll buy you lunch?” I offer.  

He gets up with a sigh, a smile, and a shrug of broad shoulders.

“Yeah, guess so.  Worry won’t get me anywhere.”  

We walk to the elevator, then outside.

“Where you want to eat?” I ask.

“How about Elmer’s?  You got the money?”

“I’m rich,” I tell him.  “Just gotta stop and buy some pads, I received a reminder this morning from MaxiePads that I’m about out, and my period will start in a few days.”  I give him a pointed look, as if to say he’d better hurry if he wants to sleep with me, or be cut off.

We finally make it to Elmer’s Restaurant.  Mike probably chose it because of its damper.  Even I have to admit that sometimes the ads get to me.  A lot of businesses have dampers, most so that they can use their own transmitters to help sell their own products.  Of course we also have control of their transmitters -- a profitable subsidiary of our company.

No need for a menu.  From the moment we walk in the door, even before we sit down, our minds are inundated by a series of advertisements for their meals.  It will stop once we order, and saves time for everyone.

After a good meal, we go back to work.  Mike promises to come over tonight after work.  I beat the service �" ha-ha �" by reminding him to shave and take a shower first.

For myself, I have to pick up groceries.  On the way home, I stop at my favorite supermarket and put the service to work.  It keeps track of my pantry, freezer, and refrigerator.   As I shop, the ad service prompts me on each needed article and suggests a few new items.

Finally, tired from work and shopping, I get home and sit in my favorite chair.  I switch on the holovision and turn to a favorite series of mine on the History Channel.  It turns out to be a two-hour show on the history of advertising in the US.  Sort of a busman’s holiday.

The End.
Charlie 

Reviews

[Wathanya.5KY3]

Another story from Charlie, and quite a chilling one! Probably because it's plausible. I often envision how ads will work in the future, and sometimes it involves sending "thought beams" like radios. But--damn--having a physical chip in my brain is scarier than anything I ever thought about!

Only one stylistic thing caught my way-too-active brain: “Where you want to eat?” I ask.

- I think the Thelma would say "wanna" rather than "want to" if they were willing to drop the "do" in speech, but that's just me

Oh, also, your em dashes are replaced by weird question-mark-double-quotation-marks thingies in the third to last paragraph.

[OscarRat]

Thanks,Wathanya.5KY3.

I believe that anything goes when it comes to dialogue. That crazy formatting is due to the site. Normally I check for it after posting but. In this case, forgot.

Oh, and did you see my posting about the life of a Japanese bargirl in the ‘60s? It comes from experience.

Charlie ( hvysmker or Oscar Rat)

[Wathanya.5KY3]

I believe anything does when it comes to dialogue too, hence "but that's just me."

I did not see your post about the life of a Japanese bargirl in the '60s. I'll check it out right away.

[Wathanya.5KY3]

Actually, I can't find it. Where did you post it?

[OscarRat]

It is at: https://www.writerscafe.org/writing/hvysmker/2150932/
I ask because it takes place in Japan. Partly fiction and partly true. For instance, there were a spate of ethnic killings while I was there.
Thanks.
Charlie (also hvysmker and Oscar Rat)

[Wathanya.5KY3]

Thank you. I'll check it out after work today.