Two Gay Little Bunnies.

Two female rabbits run afoul of a bunny preacher.

It was the best burrow in the forest.  All the other rabbits said that to Doris and Mina.  At least all their friends did.  The two girl bunnies liked each other ... a lot.  They didn't like boy rabbits and preferred living together.

Rabbits can be like people in many ways.  Some of them didn't like to see two boy or girl rabbits live together.  They thought that every boy bunny should have a girlfriend, and that every girl bunny should have a boyfriend.  Most of them did -- but some didn't.  They were different.  Some bunnies, just like people, didn't like anyone being different than themselves,  in any way. 

The other animals called Doris and Mina "Gay", but made them "Sad" instead.  I'll bet you've never seen a sad bunny, have you?

Doris Rabbit and Mina Bunny both had good jobs at Mr. Elmer's farm.  They pulled weeds out of his carrot patch and he paid them in carrots and lettuce.  Then the girls used the carrots and lettuce to trade for other things to use in their burrow.

That's why their burrow was so pretty, with cute little things on the arms of their chairs, nice rugs on the floor to keep their little paws warm in the wintertime, and even electric lights and heaters.  Not very many bunnies have electric lights and heaters.

In her spare time Mina Bunny worked at the hospital for free, helping sick animals.  She helped all the sick animals, not just the bunnies.  Doris Rabbit would take young animals out camping in the summertime.  Have you ever gone camping?  Scary, isn't it?

Everything was nice back then, before the preacher moved into that forest.

Now, Benny Bunny was a good preacher.  He taught the other animals all about God.  He made enough money by preaching to have a nice burrow too, but not as nice as Doris and Mina's.  The preacher taught many good things, like your teacher does, but he also taught bad things too.

Preacher Benny Bunny preached to the other animals that Doris and Mina were evil.  They were bad because they didn't have boyfriends.

"Every girl bunny should have a boyfriend,"  Preacher Benny would say at Sunday School, "because God says so.  If bunnies didn't do that, there would soon be no more bunnies."  

God says this, and God says that, he preached.  He would glare at the two girls, and not even shake their hands after church.  After awhile, Doris and Mina stopped going to church.  They stayed home on Sunday and read their Bible together instead.  Even bunnies get tired of being rejected.

Before long, there was hate in the forest.  Not hate like you say when you get mad at your Mama, but real big people hate.  The kind where people hurt other people.  The kind of hate where you know you are right and that other people are wrong.  They are wrong just because they don't think like you do, look like you do, or do things the same way you do.  Isn't that silly?

Preacher Benny Bunny preached that kind of hate, along with his many good things.  He thought he was the only one in the forest that knew what God wanted.

Soon Doris and Mina had other rabbits singing church songs outside their burrow, telling them they had to leave.  Those other bunnies believed the preacher and forgot what Doris and Mina had done to help them.  They told Doris and Mina that they were bad and were going to hell when they died.

First, Doris was told she couldn't work at the hospital anymore.  The hospital boss said he didn't need a bad bunny like her.  Then Mina also lost her job of taking little animals camping.  Her boss told her that they didn't want a bad bunny to be around their children.  Now that was stupid too, wasn't it?  

Not being wanted made Doris and Mina cry.  It made the sick animals and little ones sad too.  They liked Doris and Mina.

The preacher was still not happy.

"We don't want bunnies like them around here," he preached at his church. "God has no place on His earth for such evil bunnies."

Both Doris and Mina lost most of their friends, even the ones who didn't go to Preacher Benny's church.  The other rabbits didn't want to be seen with them.  They thought that if others saw them with Doris or Mina, it would make them seem bad too.

Then Preacher Benny Bunny talked to Farmer Elmer.  He told Farmer Elmer about God not liking two girl rabbits living together without boyfriends.  He also told Farmer Elmer that nobody would buy his carrots and lettuce if Doris and Mina worked for him.

Farmer Elmer needed to sell lettuce and carrots or his family would starve, so he fired Doris and Mina.  Now the two girl bunnies didn't have jobs.  They didn't have any more carrots or lettuce, either.

Preacher Benny Bunny kept on preaching hate about the two girl bunnies, until they had only a few friends left who gave them food.  Those friends couldn't feed them forever, and soon the two were hungry.

More and more, the other animals called them names and tried to make them leave the forest.  Preacher Benny, though, had many friends, even other preachers.  Bunnies, squirrels, meeses, ratties and groundhogs would come from other towns to have angry parties outside Doris and Mina's house, leaving trash and nasty signs that the two would have to clean up themselves.

The two girl bunnies would stand in their doorway and listen to animals that used to be friends call them names.  Doris and Mina would listen and cry big bunny tears.

One day, they came home from the store and found their burrow was messed up. Someone had come in while they were gone and broke everything.  Even their nice rug and electric heaters were busted into little pieces.  Policeman Peter Rabbit only shrugged broad shoulders, not seeming to care.  

Doris and Mina had no more food to eat and no place to live.  The sad little girl bunnies had to leave the forest forever.

Was Preacher Benny Bunny or his god happy when they left?

No.  He was not happy.  Now he would have to preach against the deer with their dangerous horns that could hurt people, then Farmer Elmer because he was human and should go back to where HIS Kind lived. 

Then there were those pesky dishonest-looking crows.  After that would come fat animals like groundhogs. And don't forget the cute little squirrels that made so much noise, and even smokers.  In fact, he would preach against everyone who was not a rabbit or didn't agree with him and his god.

Ask your Mama what YOUR preacher would say about Doris and Mina.

The End.
Charlie -- hvysmker

Reviews

[Wathanya.5KY3]

A story from Charlie "Human" and not Oscar Rat, that's a first.

The two gay bunnies are treated so unfairly, and while many would say this is homophobia (which it is), I say it's bigotry and intolerance toward diversity, with homophobia as the focus in this story.

My Mama is Buddhist, so we don't have a preacher.
My Papa, who was a monk (hope that counts), would say, "There's nothing wrong with Doris and Mina."

[barleygirl]

This is brilliant satire. I'm in love with this story. I laugh at the variety of responses you've gotten. This is the furthest thing from being a gay-bashing piece. If anything, it's bible-thumper bashing. You've captured the tone so well -- kinda placating, kinda tongue-in-cheek, mocking, asking simple rhetorical questions regularly to underscore your subtle scorn. This is full of pretend-goodwill & mock-clarity, similar to how the "original" fairytales seemed as if written for the innocence of children, yet really designed for the black hearts of adult cynics (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[OscarRat]

Wathanya.5KY3,
While in the US Army, I spent about four years in Japan, off and on. I didn't like barracks life, so I normally lived in town. Sometimes alone and sometimes with local women.

Anyway, I once had a neighbor, a retired marine who came back after retiring to marry his girl. He converted to Shintoism and Buddhism. Nobody locked their doors in that village, and he'd often leave religious literature at my place while I was at work.

I've never been very religious but, if I ever change, would probably choose one or both of them over Christianity with all its guilt trips.

Charlie and Oscar Rat.

[Wathanya.5KY3]

My friends don’t lock their apartments either, and the “worst” thing that has ever happened was that someone left religious literature in their mailboxes.

I’m not a religious person either, but I quite like the teachings of Buddha. It’s basically How to not be an A-hole 101.

[OscarRat]

The worse that happened in my village was at a local bar. The manager was in the habit ofopeningall the doorsin the morning to air out the place, then go home for breakfast. She'd often leave the receipts in a box behind the bar. If I wanted a beer in themorning I would go in and get one, leaving my money next to the box.

What happened was three local kids stole bottles of booze and ran. They were found out when they finally staggered home, obviously drunk.

[OscarRat]

Basically, from what I recall, the Buddha taught you to live your life the best you could and not to go out of your way to harm others.

[Wathanya.5KY3]

The story about the drunk children is hilarious. I hope they learned their lesson!

Yes, that's basically what Buddha taught. It's unfortunate that after around 2.5 millennia, his words gets twisted to something quite different.

[Lea Sheryn]

I would say that people should mind their own business and leave other people or bunnies to make up their own minds. If they believe in God, it is between them and God, not some outsiders who can't mind their business. If someone is out to cause trouble for other people, they are wrong. Just stay out of other people's business and deal with your own problems.

[Peter Rogerson]

My heart goes out to your two sad gay bunnies. They'd be welcome in my back yard any time! And that preacher... like preachers everywhere he's so sjre he's right when he's wrong. But then, he believes in an invisible man in the skies, so what do you expect?

[R.J Calzonetti (Siniste..]

What a sad, but important story to make. Very relatable to our world today. Fear is what drives people. If one person were to hate who has some authority, others will follow in their wake. That's how things like the Holocaust happen, and why racism and sexism are still staple problem to this day. As upsetting as this is, it needs to be known that this can happen. How else can we stop this unfounded hatred from happening but by making sure people aren't ignorant of it? I feel like anyone could read this poem no matter what their age too. So I'm sure it would be something kids would understand, or appreciate as much as I do. I loved this story. I don't generally review stories, not really familiar with that, but I had to this time. You did a great job.