Chapter 2 - Sanctum

Chapter 2

Sanctum

I ran on a familiar path through the woods behind Abe’s house toward the Basalt Shoreline, my place of escape from everything, which was encompassed by the Gulf of Maine. Westport wasn’t a massive town, housing less than two thousand residences and was the second island away from the Mainland. I processed the thought of never getting off of the island, like many other generations of islanders, and discarded it immediately. If I could get through this summer, and the last year of high school I would be free from everything, I reminded myself.

I walked to the edge of the forest revealing the shoreline and stopped, and took in the view of the sapphire ocean bordering the horizon with a setting sun, and an unusually warm breeze. I grabbed the necklace around my neck, and sighed with relief that it survived the Abe-ordeal. I dropped my bag to the bed of earth covered in leaves and pine needles, and started the descent to the rocks along the water on a well-worn path.

The place was mostly isolated with the exception of tourists seeking an afternoon adventure, since there wasn’t anything else to do on the island. Once September arrived I would no longer have to share what I labelled my ‘personal space’, with the exception of a popular spot half a mile down the shore called ‘the pit’ students from Island Consolidated High used as a place to party on the weekends. My best friend Karley Elliott was a regular attendee of these parties, especially if college students happened to be home visiting their families.

Karley and I had been best friends since primary, which was always unusual to me because we were complete opposites of each other. Karley liked to party, I preferred to read; Karley always had a boyfriend; I had never been interested; Karley was a member of the ICS soccer and basketball teams; I had no interest in sports. Long ago, I came to the conclusion that our differences were what drew us together, and if it weren’t for Karley I would be completely and utterly alone in the world.

I stared out into the ocean under the sunset while looming clouds threatened a drizzle, closed my eyes, fingering the pendant that laid on my chest, and inhaled the salty air from the coast. Rain was normal on the island along with cool weather, although the temperatures had been abnormally high lately.

The light evening August breeze brushed against my tired body, reminding me of the pain I would be enduring the next day.  I opened my eyes, exhaled, and found a comfortable spot to sit and relax. He is not coming for me, I assured myself. He probably retreated into the house, chugged a few beers to nurse his wounds, changed his clothes, and made his way to the Westport Pub.  The Pub was his favourite place to be, that and on the fishing boat he owned; The Donna Maye. He hated being home. Being home meant being reminded of what he lost; of what he accused I took from him.  I disregarded that thought as soon as it appeared in my mind, knowing I was too exhausted to become emotionally drained.

I wiped the tears from my eyes, not even realizing I had been crying the whole time, and continued to gaze into the ocean, longing to evolve gills and just swim away from life. I had nothing here except Karley, but only until graduation and the thought made me slightly anxious. Next fall we would be going to separate colleges, depending on which one offered Karley a sports scholarship; I would be going to any college that could get me the farthest away from Westport. I hated Westport because of Abe, and because of the islander tradition: everyone, it seemed, stayed, or eventually ended being sucked back into its gravitational force. It was like a curse everyone was born with, and it was a curse I would break.

Karley didn’t know about the abuse I endured at the hands of Abe, and I never planned on telling her although I wanted to. Karley may have had her suspicions but I always made some excuse or story about how clumsy I was tripping over my feet and hitting my head on the counter, or falling into the floor mirror to explain the gashes on my arm. The current excuse had to be that I fell down the basement stairs getting the laundry - or something along those lines. Ordinarily Abe was vigilant about not leaving marks on my face, as that would raise questions. But tonight was different; he looked at the calendar on the kitchen wall and realized my birthday was a week away.

I heaved a sigh, and looked down at the light grey sweater and dark blue jeans I was wearing. There was blood on the left sleeve, and my head throbbed a bit; I put my right hand to the wound on my head and felt the dried blood in my hair. I knew it wasn’t a serious injury, so I picked myself off the rock and stumbled along the sand toward the water to wash the blood off my face, hands, and arms. I unzipped the sweater, exposing a black t-shirt, tossed it on a large rock, and cupped water in my hands and splashed it on my face. The cool salt water stung what I could only assume to be a cut on my cheek. I was about to dunk my head in when something in the distance of the horizon appeared in the water. I gazed at the object, wishing it would make things better. But it disappeared as soon as it came. Maybe it was a fishing boat?

A few fishing boats normally stayed close to the island, but lately the numbers had been growing ever since ships had mysteriously been sinking this past summer. It was creating tension between territorial fishermen, and the ones who didn’t wish to lose their lives at sea. I often coveted to hear Abe’s boat being one them; he had a small crew consisting of his best friends. Friends, based on island rumors, who beat their wives. I wouldn’t have felt bad for any of them.

I inhaled and filled my lungs before submerging my head into the water. After getting as much blood out of my hair as I could I combed my fingers through my wet hair and wrung it out. I grabbed my sweater, and headed back towards the forest in time to feel little drops of rain. I stuffed the sweater in my bag, knowing I’d be able to do laundry at Karley’s, and grabbed an elastic out of my jeans pocket to put my hair in a messy bun. I didn’t want to look like a drowned abraded Warf Rat.

Karley’s house was roughly a ten minute walk away from mine on a separate street, divided by a small forest, and about a fifteen-minute walk from the shoreline. Karley’s parents were out of town for business, which was comforting. I didn’t want them asking any questions, as they typically would.

As I started walking back towards the road Abe’s house resided on, but careful to have already walked past it in the woods, I thought about telling Karley the truth. But would she be able to handle it? I considered the thought countless times. She’d probably get upset and tell her parents, as she’d always been protective of her friends. It’s probably best not to tell her, I rationalized again. I didn’t want to involve Karley in my chaotic life.

I walked off Gull Rock Road onto Shore Street, and a block later turned left onto Church Street where Karley lived. Church Street was a prosperous neighbourhood with exquisite homes and expensive vehicles. I approached 32 Church Street and started walking up the extended paved driveway, admiring the solar lights and hedge work as I paced. I directed my attention from the lawn to the boomerang shaped craftsman style home. The house was probably more than four thousand square feet, and had three garage stalls which held the start of Mr. Elliott`s antique car collection. Karley’s car was parked in front of the garage stall closest to the front door, a black GT convertible; her sixteenth birthday present from her parents.

This house had always been my favourite on the island; breathtaking every time I saw it, always admiring how the deck columns sat on stone, and how to stone continued to wrap itself around the entire house, with the top floor`s exterior covered in cedar shingles.

Hesitantly, I walked past the flower beds planted every summer by Karley’s mother Cathy, up the stone steps to the front door, and let myself in. I had always considered Karley’s house more of a home than Abe’s, and never had reason to feel unwelcome; Karley`s parents even referred to me as their second daughter from time to time. Too bad their pseudo daughter had to lead a secret second life.

I heard the sounds of pop music from upstairs. “Karley?,” I shouted as I took off my black converse in the foyer adjacent to the study on my left, formal dining room on my right, looking ahead to the open concept great room and kitchen.

The music faded from the room quickly; “Taylor? I’m in my room!” Karley called back, resuming the music.

I walked on the shiny hardwood through the dining room, and ascended the plush carpeted stairs beside it, taking a left in the upstairs hallway and walked to the very end. On my right was a second story view of the great room, which was directly across from Karley’s room.  Her door was ajar, a piece of paper with ‘Please be Quiet’ taped to it, a childhood memory. I chuckled at the paper as I pushed open the door and observed her lying on her stomach, long blonde hair tied back, reading a magazine, and kicking freshly painted toenails in the air. “Hey,” I shouted over the blaring music.

Karley tucked her strawberry blonde hair behind her ear while tilting her head up with a smile on her face, “Hey yo-“, she stopped, smile faded. “What happened!?” she jumped up, turned the stereo off with a remote, and proceeded toward me.

“I’m fine”, I said as I brushed past Karley over to the dresser mirror to examine the damage done to my face, and to avoid being fussed over. “It’s actually not as bad as I originally thought,” I said while observing the scrape against my right cheek bone, and the faint bruise starting to form around my eye. It wasn’t like Abe to leave marks on my face, but he’d been drinking more lately, and in turn becoming sloppy.

“What the hell happened Tay!?” Karley paced over to get a better look at my face.

“I was going downstairs with a laundry basket, completely full, missed a step and fell into the wall.”

“Typical”, she rolled her eyes, “You’re such a klutz! You didn’t fall far did you?”

 “No, just the last couple steps.” More like pushed down all of them, I thought bitterly.

“I’m going to run down to the kitchen and grab some ice from the freezer so that eye doesn’t swell”, Karley said as she walked out of the room.

I took the minute alone to collect my thoughts, and to reframe from bidding any more unwelcome tears. Tonight isn’t any different than any other night for the last ten years. I’ll get through this because I always have, I lectured myself. I looked in the mirror at the battered girl staring back. A slightly rounded face with high cheek bones, wide emerald green eyes, pale skin; all surrounded by thick ash brown hair hanging past my shoulders, which was impossible to do anything with because of how stubbornly straight it was; curls were the enemy.

The scrape on my cheek stung worse than it looked, which was a relief. The pale yellow forming around my eye could be helped with ice. My wounds always healed fast, which was a blessing.

“We’re out of ice but I have a bag of peas,” Karley shouted as she strode into the room. “Now come on, don’t give me that look. I know you don’t like peas but they’ll have to do.” She handed me the bag.

I reluctantly took the bag of peas and placed them on my eye. I hated peas. I hated Abe.

“So I take it Abe is out of town?” Suspicion in her voice, Karley picked her magazine off the floor and flopped on the queen size bed, ready to return to the article she was reading.

“Not yet. He’s going fishing tomorrow for two weeks, which is a relief because his drinking is starting to get irritating. He left before I fell, so he doesn’t know yet,” I sat on the edge of the bed and stared out of the bedroom window overlooking the darkness covering the front lawn, the rest of the neighbourhood, and the ocean. I hated lying to her.

She huffed, “Have you ever hinted that the mainland offers AA? You never talk about him very much you know. Not ever.” She flipped a page in her magazine.

Ignoring the last part of her comment I answered, “He’s already tried it.” I lied, “It’s only irritating because I have to pick up after him, other than that it’s not so bad. Besides, there’s only one more school year left and then I’ll be gone. He’d probably just take it back up again since he’d be alone in the house, and sad knowing I’m not there.” I shrugged, turned away from the window with peas in hand and hope that Karley wouldn’t see through my lies. Sad because I’m not there? Please, even I don’t believe the sound of that.

‘Well I’m proud of you that you’re actually able to tear yourself away from the situation, and not staying there to take care of him. That’s what Intervention would do!” Karley flipped another page in the magazine before tossing it to the floor. “I propose we make a pizza. I don’t know about you, but I’m starving!”

Grateful for the interruption I replied, “Mmmm, I’m so hungry!” I knew by ‘make’ she meant defrost. Karley could burn water without trying, but popping a frozen pizza in the oven was her speciality, “You here alone?” I asked.

We got off the bed and walked downstairs to the kitchen. “The parental units will be back in a couple days, so Friday evening I think? They went away to that business thingy.” Karley opened the freezer and took out a frozen pizza.

I sat on a white wooden bar stool opposite Karley. “Business thingy?”       

“Yeah, it’s something to do with the restaurants they own on the mainland. I think they’re expanding into the City or something; whatever, business is boring.” Karley prepared the pizza and placed it in the oven.

“Business must be good if they’re expanding!”

“Yeah, I suppose. So, guess what I found out about a certain someone who will be in town for the rest of the summer?” Karley smirked.

I rolled my eyes, “No idea,” I lied, although knew exactly where the conversation was going.

“Daren Boyd! His brother Brent is having a party for him this Friday night!”

“Well, that’s very brotherly of him…,” I looked down at my clasped hands, moving my thumbs in a circular motion.

“I know! Daren is so hot, and I’ve been crushing on him since last year when he graduated!”

“Yeah, I’m well aware…” I looked from my hands to the floor, then up at the ceiling trying to avoid the pathetic look on Karley’s face. Daren Boyd graduated from ICHS last year before going to University, living in the city for the summer, until now. Karley and Daren had a fling last summer and chatted on Skype most nights, but just as ‘friends’.

“And just knowing there’s potential to run into him this weekend…”

“You want to go to the party, and you want me to come with you?” I looked at her, crocked an eyebrow. She can be so subtle.

“My thoughts exactly!” Karley squealed. “Will you, please?”

“Why can’t you just go without me? I’m sure one of the girls from your soccer team will more than likely be-“

“I can’t go without you Tay! You’re my wing-woman! I don’t trust any of those stuck up plastic doll wannabe’s anyway, they’re too superficial for my taste.”

Then why do you hang out with them? Frustrated, I replied with a heavy sigh, “I guess I could go…”

“Yaaaay!” she flung her arms in the air like the wacky flailing-arms inflatable tube-man, her ‘victory’ dance.

“Under the condition that we leave as soon as you’re done running into Daren,” I added.

“Scout’s honour!” Karley grinned, “And I’m sure you won’t be completely bored at the party; I know fully well that Brent is crushing on you.” She said as matter-of-factly.

I sighed. “I’ve turned him down so much this summer I doubt he has any interest at this point.” Brent had been planning this party since the middle of July, and had not so subtly hinted that I come, talking about it every day at work and how he needed a date, and even tried to make an unsuccessful pass at me at work once. The thought made my eyes roll. “Besides, I know he’s sleeping with Rachel, and that doesn’t make me want to go any more than I already want to.”

“Oh give the guy a chance! He’s not unfortunate looking - his parents have money.”

“And he’s conceded, arrogant, and has a track record so long it could wrap twice around this island,” I retorted.

The timer on the oven sounded, and Karley turned it off before taking the pizza out and setting it on the stovetop. “Once you get to know him he’s not so bad, he’s actually really sweet. He’s just not used to girls who won’t give into him.”

“And he won`t be getting used to it anytime soon. Besides, Rachel’s his side piece.” I stood from the stool and went over to the cupboard across from the island to grab a couple plates. It had been rumored that Rachel was cheating on Cullen with Brent.

“In my opinion that’s why he’s so interested in you!” Karley grabbed a slice of pizza. “He’s just trying to do anything he can to get your attention, and he’s just using Rachel, clearly.”

I grabbed a slice for myself, wishing this topic would end. The real reason she wanted to set me up with Brent was so she would have an excuse to be at his house while his brother was around. “He’s not going to get me interested in him acting like a jerk, if he’s still even interested.” I shuddered at the memory of him grabbing my butt. I didn’t liked being touched, especially by someone I didn’t trust.

I made my way around the island and sat back in my seat, Karley in toe. I took a bite of my pizza, hoping she would just drop the subject of Brent.

“I’ll talk to him,” Karley said with a full mouth, “I’ll turn him into your prince charming.”

I faked a gag. “I’ll pass. He’s not my type, I’m never going to be interested, and I don’t need a prince charming. It`s the twenty-first century!”

“Okay, okay! No need for the ‘tude.” Karley took another bite of pizza.

“Huh? ‘Tude’?” I quoted, and turned my head towards her while cocking an eyebrow.

“Oh it’s just an anagram for the word attitude that me and the girls on the soccer team came up with. You like it?” Karley looked as if she just invented something better than electricity. “Wow, I sounded smart!” 

“Sounds like something a plastic doll wannabe would say,” I laughed.

“You’re just jealous you didn’t think of such an amazing term,” Karley said with her eyes closed and nose stuck in the air, pretending to be offended.

“Why is Daren coming back to Westport?” I finished my pizza, slid from the stool, and walked to the fridge for a bottle of water, “You want anything?” I offered.

“Yeah, grab me a can of root beer, would yah?” Karley asked while she stood and walked around the island, grabbed our plates and put them in the dishwasher. “I guess he and a friend sublet an apartment from this couple who were going away from the summer, but ended up cutting their trip short,” she explained as she straightened up the kitchen.

“Oh.” I grabbed the root beer from the fridge. I didn’t like pop because of the greasy after-feeling it left in my mouth. I didn’t understand how Karley could eat and drink the way she did and never gain any weight. We made out way back upstairs to her bedroom. I glanced at the clock on Karley’s nightstand which read quarter after ten. “What do you have planned for tomorrow?”

“I have soccer practice around three tomorrow but other than that, nothing. What about you?” Karley asked while she went to her dresser, grabbing a couple sets of pajamas.

“I have to work around then until close, but nothing after that.” I caught the PJ’s that Karley tossed over to me.

“Come over after your shift tomorrow? Oh I forgot to mention, our last soccer game is this Friday, and you’d better be there.”

“Is that a threat?” I looked at my friend and smiled.

“Damn right it is! You’ve missed every singly game this summer!” Karley crossed her arms and stuck out her hip like a three year old prepared to throw a tantrum.

“Okay, okay! I’ll be there!” I smiled and then walked into the bathroom shared by both Karley’s room and the guest room, shutting the door to change into the pajamas she gave me and dropped the now empty bottle of water in the trash.

While changing, Karley shouted through the door, “Before practice I want to hit the beach to work on my tan since the sun will actually be out tomorrow, you in?”

“Sure,” I replied, “As long as we don’t go to the beach by the dock again, because the genius who thought of that idea didn’t consider that the Ferry would potentially spew greasy sea water all over our prime tanning spot!” I laughed, cherishing the moments when teenage life was seemly normal.

“Oh give me a break! I had only been to that spot once when the Ferry wasn’t running that day, and it seemed like a decent place! How was I supposed to remember that there’s actually a Ferry connecting us to the rest of the world?”

I stepped out of the bathroom and placed my clothes into my bag by the desk, “Because we take that Ferry every day during the school year?”

“Hmmm…” Karley contemplated, “I suppose that makes sense,” and dropped on the bed.

“You suppose?” I chuckled, “What time would you like to go to the beach tomorrow? And I mean an actual beach.”

“How about we grab some breakfast burritos from The Port around nine-ish, and eat on our way over? My treat.”

“Fine,” I droned as I got up and grabbed my bag. “You and your damn burritos,” I mumbled on my way out of the bedroom through the bathroom into the guestroom next door. It’s not that I didn’t appreciate the offer, I was just sick of eating burritos; that’s how often Karley suggested The Port.

“Love you too!” I heard Karley reply as I flicked the light switch and shut both doors to the guestroom.

I walked around the queen size bed, which was monopolizing most of the twelve-by-twelve             bedroom, over to the window which was overlooking the Westport Harbour. I opened the window and the room erupted with the sounds of crickets calling for their mates, waves splashing at the rocky shore, and the faint sound of the wind rustling through the trees. I heaved a much needed sigh while I collapsed on the bed, grateful for having such a wonderful friend when I was in dire need, and grateful for the beautiful family who accepted me as one of their own. I wondered what life would have been like without them but then completely disregarded the thought as quickly as it came. It was too depressing to think about what void they would leave.

Life wouldn’t be as good as it is, I thought. A lot of the people on Westport island married and had children young because many of them were not educated enough to leave and pursue careers outside of the fishing community; it was a way of life here. Fortunately it became more convenient to come and go from the island back in the nineties, giving our generation a chance to break the cycle, although half of our class would probably just follow their parents’ footsteps. I, however, did not want to end up like the majority of islanders.

 No, if it hadn’t been for Karley and her Parents maybe I would have dropped out of school and moved to the mainland to find a waitressing job and make it on my own, or maybe I would have met the wrong people and picked up bad habits. Or maybe I would have just ended it all-but omitted the thought before I could upset myself. I loved this part of my life, and acknowledged that it wasn’t completely negative. Things could be much, much, worse. Yes Abe was an abusive alcoholic, and a horrible father, but he paid the bills, and kept a roof over our heads. All that was required of me was nonexistence.  At least he didn’t do anything more than hit me when he was drunk; but despondently, he was always drunk when he wasn’t working.

When he was working, the house was bearable to live in. Abe made sure to leave money in the kitchen ‘junk drawer’ before he left to go fishing. It was mostly ‘keep your mouth shut’ money, but it was money nonetheless. It was enough to feed me while he was gone, and for some left over which I kept in a bank account my Grandmother opened for me when I was ten, before she died. Right now that bank account contained enough money to pay for my first year’s tuition to the college of my choice, with enough left over for living expenses and other odds and ends. I had never told anyone about the bank account and didn’t plan to, fearful of what Abe may do if he ever found out.

Fear. I feared him, but yet compared the situation to worse scenarios to make myself feel better. Pathetic is more like it, I thought; pathetic that a man has to blame a death and a failed marriage on his teenage daughter. But as much as I tried to defend myself, deep down I felt I was to blame.         

 I looked out the window at the cloudy sky in its attempts to conceal the crescent moon fighting to shine so bright. “I killed her,” I whispered to myself, tears streaming down my cheek.

“I deprived myself of a real family,” I sniffed, rolling away from the window and onto my side. I tried to compose myself by listening to the ocean waves rolling in the distance, imagining how they could somehow encompass me, and take me away from that part of my life.

No, I thought. I refused to blame myself for that, not after all of the years I fought to believe I was innocent. I was overtired and needed to stop thinking that way. My Grandmother always told me that my Mother watched me from Heaven, and was smiling down on me. The thought of my Grandmother made me smile, though my heart still ached without her around.

 Fighting heavy eyelids, I pulled myself to the top of the bed and crawled under the sheets, resting my head on the soft pillows, replaying memories of when my Grandmother always used to tuck me in before I went to sleep when I lived with her.

I lay still, trying to control my breathing, trying to focus on the noises of Westport harbour. The sounds of the waves were calming, and the crickets chirped to the ocean’s rhythm, making my eyelids heavy until I could fight sleep no longer.

 

Reviews

[Sue Hart]

In the first chapter you captured anxiety. In this chapter you painted a typical teenage girl scene. I remember my daughters acting that way. You also showed how the relationship with her father taught her to lie and shy away from "being touched". I liked the way she thinks of better times to get through it all. Nice juggle.

[OrvisEd]

Thank you for the positive review! I've only uploaded the first seven chapters of this work. If you'd like to read the rest just let me know. =]

[OrvisEd]

In Chapter 3 you'll find how the first two chapters come together.

[Alleyway Rover]

I’m not really sure what to think at this point. For some reason in chapter 1 I took it to be the last straw; the moment where everything changed. Here, I am getting something more along the lines of, this is just another day.

Her father beat her senseless. She stabbed him in the leg with a broken rum bottle. Typical.

That’s kind of how it feels because after a scene that seemed so intense and momentous, this chapter pretty much focuses on the day-to-day concerns of a typical teenaged girl.

For some reason the two chapters are just not meshing and I think it might come down to one question:
If she’s got the will and courage necessary to fight back, why is she stuck in this situation?

This chapter actually brings up quite a few question, but I’ll leave most of them for now and see how the story continues to evolve.

I do like this continuing mystery: What exactly happened to her mother and why does her father… and I suspect her to a certain extent, feel she is to blame?

Cheers.