You're Gone

You're gone...
And it's not that I want you to come back,
But when I see your room locked and closed
When I see all those places where you used to be,
Where you used to stay,
It feels so sad.

It's been too long, and it's been too bad
Every memory of yours is tinged with pain
Sometimes, when I think of all that's happened
I can't help feeling glad that you're gone away.
We spoke through eyes
When I dared to look up into yours.
'Cause words were forbidden.
You pretended I didn't exist
You struggled hard to keep things normal,
And I struggled to believe,
To forgive,
To forget you.
But some things are not easily forgotten.
You kept coming back
And I kept crying in the rain.
I kept starting all over again.

You're gone out in this big, bad world,
to make your way...
While I remained behind, in this rotten old place
Waiting for my time.
I was tired of running away from you,
So, I'm glad you're gone.
But...

Every time I pass the corners, where together we stood
Every time I pass the rooms, where times were so good
And where love had started,
I can't hold back my tears....

Reviews

[brownie2109]

I really like this poem, and there are parts that really stood out for me:
'We spoke through eyes
When I dared to look up into yours.'
This part in particular draws me in and raises tons of questions (in a good way) about the relationship in this poem. It sets the tense tone of this relationship very well.
My only critique would be don't be afraid to be a bit more metaphoric in your language. There were moments, such as 'it feels so sad', which felt a bit too direct for this type of poetry. Sad can mean a million things, how does this sadness compare to a different kind of sadness?
Other than that, I really liked this poem. I'm reading it for the sixth time now

[Orizielle]

Thank you so much! I am so glad you liked it...it really means a lot.

[Jackie]

Sometimes we leave are marks in different places and for those who have gone away the presence. The memory is tattoed there for all who knew to remember. Beautiful, descriptive. Lovely poem.:-)

[Orizielle]

Thank you so much...so glad you liked it. :)