I quit

For the two of you who may see this, I'm officially calling it quits with writing. A while back, before posting this story online I crashed and burned with my dreams of producing all the stories in my head. It was very obvious to me that my first story of many (this one) was unmarketable as a debut novel and my years of work on it was basically wasted. That was beyond devastating and my fault for having the idiot idea of making what I wanted and writing the story I liked rather than pay the piper and make genre trope filled crap until the Gods decreed I was worthy to have an original idea. Self publish? Maybe but I can't market for crap. I don't have that time either. So just put it up online for free for people to enjoy and hope people see it that way.

But I just can't do it anymore. I can't take the feeling of rejection from popping on after a year of posting and seeing no comments, no likes, etc. Any tiny bit of engagement feels like a tease. This dream's last death rattle just doesn't bring me joy, only depression at seeing my hope spasm with the CPR I tried to give it. Better just let it go.

I'm sorry Dhanur, Janurana, characters I haven't posted yet from later chapters like the head of the Gwomon. I'm sorry to Leta and Leopthf, to Ina, The Lady in Red, Xoi and Xoid, Vassar and Vaniva, and all the characters who will never leave my head and notes. You deserved someone better than the failure who couldn't even read enough to write proper prose.

I'm sorry to the couple of people who actually did enjoy this. You're the ones who make this hardest of all, like I'm being a selfish child who can't appreciate what he has. But there's nothing more soul crushing than an empty theater on opening day and it's even worse when only a couple people show up too because then your failure isn't personal, it's seen by a couple others.

I'm sure my wife will not like this post here, but I just can't do it anymore. For what it's worth, I don't even have an ending to this damn story yet... Real great job, buddy.

Reviews

[V.R.S.C.]

Orion & Opal,

This is disheartening to read as someone who recently joined this site. Though I mostly intend to write for myself, who doesn't want to be acknowledged? Though after two days I see that this site is made to only reward those who spend more of their time commenting on other's work than actually working on their own.

I doubt I can convince you but I feel the need to try. If people did enjoy your writing, do not quit. You are already doing better than most. Write for the few rather than the many even if it hurts. And if you do one day finish your story, publish it for yourself, your wife, and the people that stick with you along the way. You have worked too hard for too long.

[Orion & Opal]

Thank you for reaching out. It really means a lot Yeah, every site is different with its algorithms and I'm certain some prioritize user interactions over posts.

At least for now, I've come to a bit of a realization when it comes to my art, seeing that there's a very big cycle it goes through as well as my life generally. I've set a bit of an ultimatum on it, seeing if it gets broken or repeats or etc but for now, I'm going to at least keep posting some. We'll see how it all goes.